How to cook crab

After 20 minutes in the freezer, the crab will not be frozen but will be almost entirely dormant. Working as quickly as possible, raise the tail flap, drive a skewer or small screwdriver into the small dent underneath and move side to side Photograph: Tim Hayward

Now push the spike in through the mouth area, point upwards into the back of the shell and, again, sweep from side to side Photograph: Tim Hayward

Drop the crab into salted water at a fast rolling boil. If you're doing more than one crab, make sure you allow the water to come back up to boiling between each one Photograph: Tim Hayward

Once the crab has boiled, remove from the water and allow to cool while assembling your tools. I use a pair of angled tweezers and a heavy Deba-style knife that I'm not to particular about keeping in perfect condition. Cracking shells is murder on a good blade Photograph: Tim Hayward

Pull off claws and legs Photograph: Tim Hayward

With the crab's body on its back and facing away from you, bring your thumbs up under the rear edge and push firmly to lift out the core Photograph: Tim Hayward

Here's the core lifted out. You can see the inedible gills ... those rather unappetising grey bits sometimes called dead man's fingers Photograph: Tim Hayward

Snap around the fault line in the underside of the shell. It usually gives under pressure of your thumb Photograph: Tim Hayward

Dig your thumb in behind the eyes and mouth parts ... Photograph: Tim Hayward

... and lift out a mixed mass of bony and gloopy bits. It's mainly inedible digestive organs Photograph: Tim Hayward

Scoop everything else out of the shell into a bowl. It looks pretty grim at the moment, so add a grind of black pepper, a squeeze of lemon (and you might want to try a pinch of smoked paprika) and mash it to a homgenous paste with the back of a fork Photograph: Tim Hayward

For classic British seaside presentation, spoon the mixture back into the washed shell forming a ridge down the middle Photograph: Tim Hayward

Remove and discard the dead man's fingers Photograph: Tim Hayward

Chop the core down the central line and discard the tail Photograph: Tim Hayward

The core is an unimaginably complex labrinth of bony cells packed with delicious white meat. Take a comfortable seat and start pulling it out in threads, being careful to separate out any rigid stuff ... Photograph: Tim Hayward

Crack the claws with the heel of your knife. You can also use a hammer, garden secateurs or an 18" Stilson pipe wrench: pretty much anything in the tool box you're comfortable with, short of a chainsaw. Extract the meat. Look out for a bony layer running down the centre of the claw meat Photograph: Tim Hayward

Shred the white meat - I don't think it needs seasoning but you're welcome if you think it will help. Spoon into the shell, either side of the brown meat Photograph: Tim Hayward

For ultimate authenticity, top with lemon slices and serve with triangles of buttered brown bread, a stick of rock and some sandy tea Photograph: Tim Hayward