Oct. 16--This week, a special Cubs edition of Social Graces.
Q: You and a friend made plans weeks ago. Now, something unpredictable but tempting -- say, a postseason Cubs game -- is the same night. How do you break plans, or should you still go and hope to avoid spoilers?
"Honesty is always the best policy. You wouldn't want to get caught in the act on social media. It's better to disappoint a friend than to lie and lose them for good. Be authentic, and explain your desire. You could always ask them to meet you at a sports bar or reschedule for a different day. It's not a regular occurrence that the Cubs play to get into the World Series.
"A genuine response could be, 'Michael/Michelle, I was really looking forward to spending time together tonight, but an awesome opportunity arose that I can't pass up. Would it be possible to reschedule for next week?'"
-- Kelley Kitley, psychotherapist and owner of Serendipitous Psychotherapy
"If your commitment was to go with someone to a major event or your plans required special effort and advance ticket purchases, it's important to stick to your original commitment.
"For a die-hard sports fan, especially a Cubs fan, getting to watch unexpected postseason Cubs is a dream come true. While you don't want to hurt feelings or disappoint a friend, it's worth asking for a rain check. Say something like, 'I know we have plans to go to the movies, but I have an opportunity to see my favorite team. Would you mind if we postpone our date until next weekend?'
"From time to time after we RSVP or agree to attend a particular event, something better comes up. It's important to honor your word. Watching the Cubs in person is an exception when your original plans can be easily changed or you have an understanding friend or family member.
"You owe them big, and it's important to do something special to make it up to them."
-- Diane Gottsman, etiquette expert and owner of The Protocol School of Texas
Another option? Send your friends this article. They might get the hint.
Social Graces is a weekly series asking two experts for advice on awkward life situations.
abowen@tribpub.com
