Age: 54.
Appearance: one of those big-eyed Margaret Keane paintings, come to life.
Occupation(s): former member of dance troupe Hot Gossip; West End star of Cats and The Phantom of the Opera; international crossover-classical recording star; ex-wife of Andrew Lloyd Webber.
She sounds busy. And she’s keeping busy – she’s soon to embark on a long journey.
To where? To join the ISS.
Sarah Brightman’s been radicalised? Not Isis, moron. The ISS – the International Space Station.
How is she going to get there? She’s going to fly there on a rocket.
This is the Sarah Brightman who sang I Lost My Heart to a Starship Trooper? The same – she may even get the chance to sing it in space.
Is this an idea for a musical? Because I hate it. No, this is happening. Sarah Brightman is becoming an astronaut.
Don’t astronauts have to undergo, like, training? She has done the training, or most of it. If all goes according to plan, she will blast off with two cosmonauts on a Soyuz rocket in September.
Really. Yes, really. Then she’ll spend a week aboard the ISS, where she’s to give a concert before returning to Earth.
Who thought this was a good plan? Sarah Brightman did. She’s paying with her own money.
She’s got enough money to go into space? She’s certainly rich – although estimates of her net worth are pretty similar to estimates of the cost of sending her up – about £35m.
I can think of lots of better ways to spend that sort of dosh. You’re not the first person to consider space tourism a scandalous waste of money.
Too right. I’d use it to build a solid chocolate mansion. Wouldn’t it melt?
For £35m, it had better not. On the other hand, one could argue that space tourism provides a way to fund flights to and from the ISS.
Will we be allowed to vote her off? I don’t think you quite get how this works.
Do say: “This voyage is a product of a dream … finally it can be a reality.”
Don’t say: “I’m sorry Ms Brightman, but if your carry-on bag doesn’t fit in the cage, we have to charge you an extra £7m.”
