The bear necessity ... Every story about the Georgian conflict seems to depict Russia as a grizzly. Photograph: Getty
Let me introduce you to a measure used by the west to gauge levels of suspicion about Russia: the Bear Index.
The method is simple - the more references, oblique or direct, to Russia as a bear, whether cuddly or fierce, the greater the mistrust of Moscow. Well, today the Bear Index went off the scale.
Most UK papers, while critical of Georgia for triggering the current South Ossetia crisis through its ill-advised intervention in the breakaway region, are beginning to side firmly against Russia.
The Daily Telegraph even manages to squeeze a claim of Russian "ethnic cleansing" into its lead story while, curiously, failing to detail who made the allegation, let alone give any evidence supporting this.
The paper is among a series of titles to feature a bear in its main cartoon. This one, disturbingly, has Vladimir Putin's face and is stomping on Georgia.
The Times's cartoon bear also has its claws on the country, while the Independent's version is a growling, caged beast which savages Georgia's president, Mikheil Saakashvili - but only after George Bush prompts him to goad it with a stick.
The Mirror, meanwhile, makes do with a mere headline - "Wrath of the Russian bear" - while the Sun merely has a bizarre photo composite above Trevor Kavanagh's comment piece with a snarling grizzly surrounded by Putin's head and pictures of Russian bombing damage.
The message is clear: Russia is, once again, a cold-eyed predator.
Any bear sightings elsewhere in the media gratefully received.
