Many people confuse and misunderstand sex, gender and sexuality. Some even use 'sex' and 'gender' interchangeably. However, the three concepts are completely different from one another. While sex is natural, gender is a social construct that assigns different, fixed roles to men and women. Sexuality on the other hand is what one feels. Desires, attraction and one's intimate feelings towards the other defines the sexual orientation of a person.
That said, anyone who confesses that they're gay or belong to the LGBTQIA community, it doesn't mean that they're different or their sexual orientation is unnatural. Just like heterosexuality, homosexuality is also a natural phenomenon. There is no control over a person's feelings towards the other, who one loves and feels attracted to.
Given that some people do not fall under the heterosexual norm, they may sometimes face ostracization and rejection from not just strangers, but their own family and friends.
If your child "comes out" to you and opens up about their sexual orientation, it is important that you be kind and more accepting. While the process may be difficult, Saakshi Singla, Gender Equality Advocate and Child Development Expert, IILM Psychology Faculty, explains how parents can be more accepting of their children, when they confess or reveal their sexual identity.
"Homosexuality is not a mental illness"
Even in today's world, where we discuss modernity as though we fully comprehend it, homosexuality is still considered to be a mental illness.
In the past, even in western societies, two people of the same sex, in love, were considered mentally ill. This idea still persists till date.
According to Saakshi Singla, "Homosexuality is not a mental illness. It cannot be cured or cured by psychotherapy."
That said, being attracted to a person of the same sex does not mean that a person is ill. It is not something reversible. Just like heterosexual people, homosexuality is very natural too.
Why does family acceptance matter
With many countries beginning to see the bigger picture and legalizing same sex couples and marriage, it is important that homosexuality is accepted in the family realm too.
Most people, when they "come out" with their sexual orientation as gay or lesbian, they confess to their parents first, as they're the ones who mean the world to them. While it may be difficult to process, it is important that you learn to deal with it, rather than overreacting and resorting to negative means.
As per the expert, research shows that most children rejected by their parents become more prone to suicide, depression and unprotected sex.
On the contrary, acceptance builds high self-esteem in kids.
What are the thoughts that may trouble parents?
According to Saakshi, parents also have a tough time processing the information they have just received. They may be subject to certain thoughts that drive them to be ignorant of their child's feelings and may make decisions that hurt their children immensely. Some of the negative thoughts that a parent may be suject to are:
- "Did I do something wrong?"
How can parents be more accepting?
So how can parents be more accepting and come to peace with the fact that homosexuality is not something evil or unnatural.
- Ask them about their experience
What are the behaviours that should be avoided by parents?
There are certain things that you should immediately stop doing, if your child comes out with their sexual orientation.
- Hitting or threatening your child
