Up to 16% of British people have told someone that they love them within the first month of their romance, according to a new survey, with 3% of people declaring their love within a week. During the first two or three months of being together, almost 25% of people will have said “I love you”. Just 11% admitted to taking longer than half a year.
We asked people how quickly they have said “I love you”, and how long they think people should wait.
▶ One month
Jack, 28, Grantham
I said it within the first month of being with my girlfriend, when I was 16 years old. It’s now 12 years in, and we’re getting married next week. The most nervous time in my life was when I asked her to marry me, the second most nervous was when I told her I loved her. People don’t say they love each other enough.
▲ Five months
Jean, 80, Essex
Five or six months. I don’t think that’s normal these days, though. I think a lot of people say it too soon and it is often meaningless. When I was younger, you didn’t live together, you didn’t have children before you were married, you didn’t have sex. I don’t know how people can go out and have one-night stands. It’s a different era.
My husband and I got engaged six months after we got together. He said “I love you” first; I would never have said it first.
▲ Straight away
Xu, 23, Shanghai
Straight away. If I really love someone, I don’t want to wait. I think it’s too old-fashioned; I’m not scared. In China, we tell girls to contain emotions. I think that is not good. But everything is changing; us Asian girls will say “I love you”. People will never know if you don’t say it.
Two months
Pilar, 30, Spain
Two months. But it depends on the person and the state of the relationship, and knowing when you’re really in love, or whether you’re just in need. If you don’t feel you love someone after one or two months, you may never love them.
I was scared to tell a much younger person I loved them; I wasn’t sure they were ready. He had already told me he loved me, but I was too scared to say it back – I said nothing! Then one day I was drunk and I said it. But I said it again the next day when I was sober.
One day
Johnny, 28, recruitment, London
The earliest I’ve told someone I love them was when I was a teenager, and it was probably within a day. But now it’s much more complicated. It’s a special word but isn’t a milestone, it’s all about how you feel.
Up to now I’ve been lucky, whenever I’ve said “I love you”, it’s been reciprocated. If you’re in a relationship, you should say ‘I love you’ whenever the opportunity arises.
▲ Whenever
Candy, 47, London
If I feel it, I say it. So, whenever! You need to be in the moment, the time is now. Take the risk: go with it. People are not open enough, not in London. In the Caribbean, people are very open: warm, relaxed and free.
▲ Five months
Raihane, 23, Strasbourg
I waited five or six months. I was nervous. My now husband and I were chatting online, and I just said it. He was really happy, but surprised. He wasn’t expecting it. I don’t think there’s a perfect moment to say “I love you”, but you don’t know what might happen, so you should just say it.
◀ One month
Robbie, 23, Newcastle, and Josh, 23, Grantham
Josh: I told him within a month at a house party, but then I ran away. British people don’t compliment each other enough. We all need to give each other better self-esteem. People don’t want to show they have emotions.
Robbie: I thought it was sweet and refreshing when he told me he loved me within a month. But I would have said the same thing. If it feels right, you should do it. Don’t harbour it inside you.
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