You can tell a lot about a place from its passport stamp, and the one issued in the Falkland Islands takes up most of a page. Stating grandly that the government grants access, and featuring a picture of a sheep, the stamp simultaneously conveys pride and parochialism.
They are a sensitive lot, the Falkland Islanders, as Argentinian president Cristina Fernández de Kirchner discovered last week when the local paper, Penguin News, labelled a picture of her "bitch" on its website – and as I too found out in 2004, when I briefly became public enemy number one there.
As Guardian science correspondent, I was invited by the British Antarctic Survey to visit one of its research bases, a gruelling journey that involves transit through Port Stanley. In a preview piece I joked that "by the time you read this, home will be a shack in a desolate, godforsaken land. Then I will leave the Falkland Islands for Antarctica."
Big mistake. On the way out, the islanders were friendly and welcoming. Coming home, the piece, faxed to the islands by the Foreign Office, had been widely circulated, to little amusement. Stony faces greeted my return. Worse still, my trip coincided with a VIP visit from members of the House of Lords, and I was included on their itinerary, so lined up to meet and greet as many of the people I had pissed off as possible. Public opinion eventually dictated that, while the rest of the party enjoyed dinner at the governor's house, I was dragged on to the radio to apologise.
Officially, the reason for the outrage was that my criticism could damage tourism. So, if you are considering a trip, let me reassure you. The Falkland Islands are lovely. Like Scotland, just without the weather.
