Giles Fraser (Loose canon, 12 May) is missing the point in his piece about people wanting to have funerals that are fun. My husband, Robert Keats, who died of motor neurone disease, project-managed his death and his funeral, as a way of maintaining control in the face of a vicious and debilitating illness. As he says in his book How to Die Well Without God, a religion-free death requires some planning.
His humanist funeral celebration was held in a marquee in our garden and attended by some 250 people. The first song was the Philosophers Song by Monty Python (he was an Epicurean) and his coffin was carried out to Springsteen’s Born to Run. Friends and family shared their memories interspersed with his favourite music, and in place of a hymn we all sang along to Let It Be. There were no prayers but people were given the opportunity of quiet reflection while Dido’s Lament was played. People were overcome with grief but they also laughed at the stories and applauded him out to the hearse, carried by his friends. The reality of our loss was plain to see, without the liturgical side of religion being present in any shape of form. It wasn’t let’s pretend, it was let’s remember, cry and laugh. It was the best funeral ever.
Helen Keats
Shorwell, Isle of Wight
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