If there is a truth universal, it is that dating is tough. And dating shows, with their array of conflicting messages, don’t help with the struggle. Do you go for equal parts overdressed and shameless (Take Me Out)? Or model yourself on a 1950s housewife and cook your way to love (Dinner Date)? Or maybe it’s best to just embrace cosmetic surgery and hope for the best (Love Island).
This is why the show First Dates is such a breath of fresh air. For those unfamiliar with the show’s greatness, let me explain. First Dates sticks to a simple but effective formula: a blind date followed by a debrief where the couple discuss their relationship prospects.
Just some normal people eating a meal then. But this makes for an attractive prospect when so much of what we see on our screens seems so contrived: from David Cameron’s poppy to Essena O’Neill’s Instagram to the majority of magazine covers that may as well be advertising Photoshop tools.
For authenticity-seeking, self-pitying millennials such as myself, it’s little wonder the show’s premise is attractive. Some 64% of us are apparently single, and the danger of contracting repetitive strain injury from Tinder swiping is very real. This realisation led me to apply to be matched with a blind date for the show’s background shots. In theory, it seemed a smart shortcut to spending the festive season with company. In reality, the episode will inevitably air glimpses of me trying, and failing, to eat spaghetti elegantly. Back to the drawing board (Tinder, again).
But if you’re a viewer, it’s hard not to get invested in the dates on screen. When English teacher Louis stuttered nervously, the British public fell for his charm and the media dubbed him “a darling of reality TV”. And when model Georgia got stood up, a whopping 2.2 million viewers tuned in the following week, rooting for the Geordie’s second attempt at love.
So, were touching moments like these created by a highly staged filming experience? Surprisingly not. The only instruction given to the singletons before their nerve-racking walk into the Paternoster Chop House was to relax and have fun. I chatted to a production team member who revealed equally kind sentiments, as he likened the behind-the-scenes operation to an actual match-making agency.
The dedication certainly seems to be paying off. The show has led to a smattering of official couples, with one pair moving in together. This isn’t quite up to Blind Date’s standards: the classic dating show spawned several marriages. With this season the longest yet, the British public’s appetite for on-screen dates shows no sign of abating, so it’s no surprise the production team aims to see a marriage eventually.
In terms of the dating experience itself, it’s difficult not to be acutely aware of the cameras. Sure, there was a nice hands-off approach to directing, but everyone is trying desperately to come across well. Inevitably, this meant turning to copious amounts of alcohol in order to dampen the nerves.
Thankfully, finding charm in the awkwardness is something we Brits excel at, mostly thanks to the influence of Hugh Grant. And the show has it in spades. We’re captivated, because the programme shows that, when it comes to dating, everyone is pretty similar. And by that I mean we all worry about looking like a spare part when our date’s in the toilet, and immediately scroll through Facebook.
Likewise, the anxiety of how to greet one’s date upon arrival (one kiss or two?) was something us girls on background dates really bonded over. As we agreed that two kisses seemed classy, I decided to take the plunge. Bad idea – my insistence flummoxed my date to such an extent that we forgot to introduce ourselves properly for close to two hours.
But it’s beyond these moments, away from the good, the bad, and the awkward, that the real magic happens. Everyone wants a happy ending, their chance at love. And this is where First Dates steps in to offer the opportunity to those from all backgrounds, ethnicities, ages and sexualities. And it does it so sensitively that it’s difficult to watch an episode without welling up.
So, did I find love? Not even close. A struggling journalist from north London and an estate agent from Essex (we love our cliches) had as little in common as you’d expect. But, I did leave the First Dates restaurant feeling a little warm and fuzzy. Therein lies the appeal of a dating show with a heart.
