Shock, anger, disbelief and tears. Children at Whitcliffe Mount school ran through a gamut of emotions as they digested the news that their MP, a frequent visitor and supporter, had been shot and stabbed to death.
Teachers grieving over the death of Jo Cox had to pick themselves up and find a way to comfort their students, some of whom had recently enjoyed a lively classroom debate with her. “The students looked for us for answers but at a time like this there is nothing to say … All we could do was support them and give them the opportunity to talk about it and support each other,” says Matthew McKirgan, business support manager at the 1,300-pupil comprehensive in Cleckheaton, West Yorkshire.
He was up until the early hours preparing a video tribute to Cox, the Labour MP for Batley and Spen and mother of two young children, that could be shown to each class. “Jo was a regular visitor to our school and it was a terrible shock for many of our students … We thought it would give us the chance to gauge the intensity of how students were affected and give them an opportunity to reflect on some of the happy memories of Jo and what she had achieved,” he said.
Not so long ago it was possible to cocoon children from evil in the world by getting them to bed before the 9pm television news and folding the morning newspaper. Now they are surrounded by 24-hour instant coverage, streamed through their smartphones and tablets.
Children are exposed to things that worry them, and parents should not leave it to schools to pick up the pieces, says family psychologist Angharad Rudkin, from the school of psychology at the University of Southampton. “When schools take on the responsibility, parents feel they can wash their hands of it,” she says. “Yes, a school can put bad things that happen in context of their value systems but so can a family. You can say that in this family we treat each other respectfully and listen to each other, and we don’t get angry if we disagree.
“When something bad happens close to children, their lens on the world has been shattered. What they believe is no longer true. Most children won’t get the shattered lens from things they see on the news but if they knew Jo Cox, if she was part of their lives, then as a parent you need to find the fine balance between protecting them and helping them to understand. You could talk about how Jo was a very good woman who did lots of great work, and we need to celebrate all that she achieved. You could talk about how some people get very cross and do things without thinking about and understanding what they are doing, and talk about the importance of being tolerant and accepting that people have different views.”
Primary schools are less likely than secondary schools to explore tragic events but it can be done sensitively to reassure children and teach them the importance of respect and acceptance, says Andrew Moffat, assistant headteacher at Parkfield community school in Birmingham. After 49 people were shot dead and 53 wounded in a shooting at a gay bar in Orlando, Florida, this month, Moffat found a photograph of people queueing up to give blood to help the victims and used it to stimulate discussion at assemblies for nine-to 11-year-olds.
“Gay people were injured in the shooting and all these people are queueing up to give blood to try and save them. Why do they want to give blood to gay people? Because, like us, they believe in “no outsiders” – everybody is an insider,” he told them.
“We talk about a culture of no outsiders by using the Equality Act 2010 to teach respect for race, religion, gender, gender identity, sexual orientation, disability and age. Everyone is welcome in our school,” says Moffat who has introduced the policy at the school where 98% of pupils are Muslim.
Sometimes things happen that are virtually impossible to explain to children. In February Shannon Newman, 11, a pupil of St Wilfrid’s Catholic high school in Featherstone, West Yorkshire, was murdered by her father, along with her mother and brother. Their bodies were found at their home in Leeds and their father was later found dead in Wales.
The school tried to focus on the good memories of Shannon, not the horror of what happened, says Helen Gilroy, the acting headteacher. “There were children in her form and those who had been with her at primary school who were very upset. There was shock and disbelief; ‘Miss, how could that have happened? How could she have died? I saw her last week and she was fine. She didn’t have a cold or a cough or anything,’” she recalls.
“As a school we were enveloped in love and support. We had counsellors on site and colleagues from other schools came in to support us. It was a team effort to try and lift up the students by making memory books with poems and stories about Shannon so they didn’t leave the school that night in despair. We had information about what had happened but we were not in a position to share it with the students. We tried to prepare them for what was to come by saying that what happened to Shannon was very sad but only those there at the time could explain what happened.”
It’s not easy for teachers to talk about such difficult subjects because children arrive at school with very different levels of knowledge and understanding about what is happening in the world, says James Bowen, the director of NAHT Edge, the middle-management union. “The other challenge is parental expectation. Some will trust the school and others think it is their job as a parent,” he says. But if teachers don’t respond to questions from children, the issues do not go away.
“As teachers and leaders we should be providing a safe space for these difficult conversations, not closing them down.”
