Age: 102.
Appearance: Imposing red-brick building.
What’s it for? It was founded by local brewers, the Groves brothers, as a club for boys, with the intention of providing a positive alternative to the street gangs of the period.
I thought it had something to do with the Smiths. You’re probably referring to the photograph of the band outside the club, which appeared on the inner sleeve of their 1986 album The Queen Is Dead.
Yeah, that sounds familiar. Iconic image, innit. Indeed – the photographer, Stephen Wright, has licensed the picture’s use on limited-edition T-shirts produced by the club, which raised £16,000 in a matter of days.
A hot item, then. You bet. Even David Cameron managed to snap one up. “You have made my day,” he told the Manchester Evening News reporter who gave it to him. “Thank you very much, there is a light that never goes out.”
Based on that shoehorned lyrical quotation, I’m guessing that the PM is a fan of the Smiths. He is, although not one in good standing.
How come? The band disapproves. In 2010, Cameron chose This Charming Man as one of his Desert Island Discs, prompting guitarist Johnny Marr to ban him from liking the Smiths.
Did he get an injunction? No, he just tweeted, but Morrissey joined in. “It is, of course, a fantastic thrill when the music you make is acknowledged by virtually anyone at all,” he said. “But David Cameron is not just anyone.”
How humiliating it must be to have your cherished cultural reference points repudiate you in public. Morrissey should know. The Salford Lads’ Club was originally furious about being associated with a record called The Queen Is Dead. “Inclusion of the photograph may generally cause any person … listening to the record to attribute the material to the club, its committee or its members,” said its solicitor at the time.
It has come round, though, hasn’t it? You bet. These days the club even has a Smiths Room – formerly the weightlifting room – where fans can pay their respects. Also, it accepts girls now.
Do say: “I would never want to belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member.”
Don’t say: “Sorry, we’re all out of mediums. The prime minister took the last one.”
