Name: Fast & Furious.
Age: 14.
Appearance: Frenetic, speedy.
What is it? An action film franchise starring imperturbable slaphead Vin Diesel, about a gang of crime-fighting, crime-committing street racers.
Never seen a one. What kinds of crimes do they fight? Terrorism, drug trafficking, whatever.
And what kinds of crimes to they commit? Mostly flagrant violations of the Highway Code.
Sounds as if they keep themselves busy. Well, they’ve had a lot of films to fill up with fights, car chases and explosions, from The Fast and the Furious (2001) to the recently released Fast & Furious 7.
Seven films? I’m guessing they subscribe to the law of diminishing returns, starting from a fairly low base. You guess wrong. With the exception of the third offering, The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift, each film has fared better than the previous offering.
That’s quite an achievement. It sure is – Fast & Furious 7 just broke a box office record by being the fastest (and presumably the most furious) film to make $1bn globally. Three weeks after its release, it’s already the seventh biggest film of all time.
What’s it got that the other six films didn’t have? Much of the interest is down to the fact that it’s actor Paul Walker’s last ever appearance in the franchise.
Gone on to bigger things, has he? No, he died.
Oh. How? When? In a high-speed car crash, of all things. In 2013.
How very sad for … wait, 2013? When did they make this film? They were two months into filming at the time of the accident. A script rewrite, a lot of CGI and four body doubles were required to keep Walker in the picture. Part of the film’s appeal for audiences is seeing how it was all managed.
Isn’t that a bit ghoulish? Maybe, but the outpouring of affection for Walker from fans seems heartfelt enough. Bumper stickers bearing Walker’s name and dates have started appearing everywhere.
I suppose it’s both a touching tribute and a fitting way to end the franchise. Are you kidding? Three further sequels have already been green-lit.
Do say: “Hang on for Fast & Furious 8: The Unstoppable Franchise.”
Don’t say: “Coming soon: Vin Diesel in F&F12: The Slow and the Cantankerous.”
