Before children develop their prefrontal cortex and figure out all the unspoken rules of polite society, they get a brief window of pure freedom, saying and doing whatever pops into their heads.
Great for them. Not always so great for their parents. Because while that zero filter can be hilarious, it can also lead to some painfully awkward moments.
On TikTok, Trey Colbert asked parents to spill the most mortifying things their kids have pulled off—the kind that make you want to avoid public outings forever. Their replies did not disappoint. Scroll down for the most entertaining ones… and maybe send a little sympathy to these parents. They’ve earned it.
Image credits: trey_colbert
#1
Middle of a world wide pandemic, lockdown here in NZ so essential services only. Took my son to the supermarket with me and while waiting to pay for shopping he walked up behind the man in front of us and licked the chicken nugget tattoo on the back of his leg!
Image credits: AshC
#2
I was pushing my daughter in the cart walking in to Walmart. A lady with vitiligo was walking past us and she points at her saying “MOMMY COWWWW” and then she proceeded to make cow noises going “moooooo”.
Image credits: mlauni1
#3
Here’s a cute one 🥰: my 3 year old in the grocery store in Florida saw an old man with a white beard and white hair and grabbed him arm to say “Santa”?. The man pulled his sunglasses down and gave a wink 😜 and said he was on vacation.
Image credits: Side of my neck
#4
Me and my son where playing monopoly we lost all the money so I printed some out off the computer and we cut it. I went to the bank a week later and the teller was counting our money and he says my mom prints it in the basement.
Image credits: katefielder
#5
When my daughter was 4 we were having breakfast at a restaurant and she asked the elderly lady next us why she wasn't in heaven yet.
Image credits: Bonifa
#6
My son when he was 4 thanked a black man in a suit who held the door open for us by saying "thanks Obama."
Image credits: ehmro11
#7
My daughter asked the Walmart cashier (who was missing some teeth) if she ever brushed her teeth before.
Image credits: Meg Ehlers898
#8
I'm not a mother but i have a lil brother. We were at the airport going back home after a trip and my brother saw a heavier guy and my brother proceeds to point at him and shouts "THE PLANE WON'T FLY IF HE'S IN IT!" I wanted to bury myself when he said that.
Image credits: D_Yangyang
#9
After hurricane Helene hit, my daughters class wrote cards for the people affected. She told me she wrote ‘I hope you’re okay but I don’t think your house is.’
Image credits: Meghan|Get Your ✨ Fit Together
#10
Mine pointed to random black man and said MOM IS THAT SNOOP DOG?!
Image credits: Andrea Downs
#11
When my son was 2 I took him to Michael’s! He saw a Muslim woman covered from head to toe. He pointed and yelled “you forgot to take your Halloween costume off” I wanted to crawl under a rock!
Image credits: karlah227
#12
I was hospitalized for stress got out we were at the store she says “ mom you’re out of rehab” 😭😭 I swore I felt the stares.
Image credits: Nancy
#13
My son was 3 or 4, saw a little person who was a local celebrity and he pointed at him from about 2 feet away and said “look at the weird baby dad.”
Image credits: Jeff Perusse
#14
This guy had a huge birth mark on his forehead at the mall & my son asked if a dog pooped on him.
#15
When my daughter was a toddler she called all Men Daddy's. She really stressed out some dudes at the grocery store.
Image credits: Michelle
#16
My son around 4 at the time ask a black lady why did she have chocolate all over her face.
Image credits: Apple User334366
#17
Just paid for an item at Walmart and was walking out without it in a bag. My kid said loudly “are you stealing that?? We have to pay!” Even though I JUST DID.
#18
5 y/o son asked if the gas station guy with a turban on was a genie.
#19
When my 3-year-old pointed with a bindi on her forehead and asked if the little girl had a boo-boo, I was mortified.
Image credits: stephc329
#20
We live in an area that has a FLDS population. My middle son was about 4. He walked up to… I dunno, like the 1st wife, grabs her cart and says very loudly and clearly to her “WHYYYYY IS EVERYONE DRESSED SO FREAKY IN THIS STORE TODAY?!!!”
Image credits: MerritB
#21
My daughter had to write a poem about me a as mom... She said she gets all the candy and sweets... cause I have diabetes... It was posted in the hall with my picture for everyone to see.
Image credits: Esme
#22
My son saw a man with dwarfism and started screaming “MOMMY ITS AN ELF!” We had just watched buddy the elf.
Image credits: Kya Howe
#23
My autistic child was into organizing by color. A black family got on the elevator. She tried to move us into a pattern. They were very understanding.
#24
I made the mistake of telling my son if he didn’t eat, he wouldn’t grow. He told a person with dwarfism in the checkout line at the grocery store that they needed to eat so they would grow.
Image credits: Laurian
#25
My 3 yo at the time told an elderly woman at the drs office her brother was at home locked in a crate and wasn’t allowed to go places with us….. the “brother” she was referring to was our rottie.
Image credits: gray
#26
A man in a restaurant told my niece he liked her Elsa dress. She replied with, “God damn it, I’m eating!”
#27
In Walmart and a nun was in front of us and my daughter yelled "why do people come into Walmart wearing the most ridiculous things."
Image credits: janis
#28
Went to the local police station to get fingerprinted for a police check for a job in a hospital. My daughter ( about 5 at the time ) announces so everyone could hear……”are we here because you run all those yellow lights????” The cops just howled, I was mortified….
#29
My son screaming in the middle of target “MOMMY! White people!!!” (He was talking about the mannequins)
#30
Got dragged to church by my mom. The pastor started preaching about Jesus dying and then resurrecting on the 3rd day. My son started yelling MOM THAT GUY IS SAYING JESUS IS A ZOMBIE!
Image credits: Airwreckuh
#31
We were at Walmart and I told my son he better stop or he was in trouble and he said “… are you going to whoop me till I bleed” HUH YOU HAVE NEVER EVEN BEEN WHOOPED.
#32
Every time i take my 4yr old to a store and someone politely speaks, she will say hi and then yell STRANGER DANGER. I have a slight heart attack every single time.
#33
My son told the pediatrician when he was like 7 or 8 that “my mom doesn’t make us wear seatbelts and we duck if we see a cop “ NEVER HAPPENED and I was so speechless I couldn’t even react.
#34
Not my kid but a girl I nannied in my twenties. I went on the elevator to drop her off at pre k and there was a woman on it who was heavy set. As the doors were closing, the little girl said loudly, “Is she fat or is there a baby in her tummy?” Longest elevator ride in my life.
Image credits: AimeeLloyd
#35
My 3 yo told her pediatrician “I think you forgot to brush your teeth today.”
#36
We visited a family member and as soon as my son walked in he said “it’s so dirty. You guys need to clean up.”
Image credits: Mtaka ma
#37
My oldest told her kindergarten teacher that her mom and dad are cousins 🫠 I was so mortified that I sent her teacher a message informing her that we are in no way related and I don’t know what made her say that and all she said was “No worries, have a good weekend!” Which somehow made me feel more embarrassed.
Image credits: ADesh
#38
I told my son he couldn’t eat chips until we got home. My son responded loudly, “but mom we don’t have a home.” We very much did and everybody in the store started offering housing resources.
#39
My sons was 7 or 8. We were grocery shopping and he wanted me to stop and get McDonald's when we were done. I told him we were making dinner at home. He proceeded to lift his shirt up over his head suck his stomach in so hard it went up under his ribs and cried out "YOU NEVER FEED ME!! I'M SO HUNGRY!"
Image credits: Sonjia
#40
My daughter (6yo) announced while I was presenting on a zoom call (right at the beginning of Covid) “mommy you’re wearing pants today!” So 300+ people knew at that moment I didn’t wear pants on a regular basis.
#41
Son was acting TF up in the store. i warned him multiple times to stop. he kept going so I grabbed the sleeve of his coat to pull him in closer (ya know, so i could yell at him thru gritted teeth) and he SCREAMS "AHHHHH!!! LET GO OF MY FLESHHHH!!!!"
#42
When I was little my mom always told us if we lied we would grow a red dot on our forehead. We were at Costco and I pointed at a man who had a bindi and screamed at him that he was lying to his face.
Image credits: User5774357733
#43
My son when 10 saw a Hasidic Jew with his top hat on and shouted/pointed, “look dad, a magician!”
Image credits: Jack Straw
#44
my daughter would ask every man she saw if they was her dad. Me and her dad was, and still are together. She saw him daily, she just insisted on asking every man.
Image credits: K12A.91
#45
My son (4) told a family member “you’re as big as a house!”
#46
My oldest son pointed to a balding man and said “he’s not wearing any hair on his head”. My second oldest son told a classmate’s mom that I said her son looked like Oscar The Grouch. He really did.
#47
My daughter was maybe 3 or so… getting a haircut by a beautiful black woman and asks her “How come you’re so black? You’re just like …black.” Omg I could have melted into my chair. The hairstylist was very gracious and just said, “ I was born like this sweetheart.” I looked like mom of the year I’m sure.
#48
I was at school one day picking up my daughter and I was talking to a couple of parents, one of them was a rather a good looking dad, and I had a zip up hoodie on with no shirt underneath, so my daughter comes up to me and unzipped my hoodie all the way down so I was exposed 😢😢😢. In front of everyone
#49
This little boy at the park had something wrong I think it was spina bifida and used his arms to get around. My son thought he was playing so he started doing the same. I got in my car and couldn't help but cry.
#50
Eating at Panera with my 3 year old. He pointed at an older man a few tables away and loudly asked, “Why is that man eating alone? Did his family die?”
#51
I forgot my daughter’s lunchbox 2 days in a row (She’s in preschool and I brought it to her after running home). We walked into the school building the 2nd time I forgot and she loudly announced to all the parents/teachers “My mommy forgot to feed me…AGAIN!” Mortified.
#52
My five year old told the cashier my mommy doesn’t have any money as I was checking out.. and two seconds later my card gets declined.
#53
My son squinted his eyes at a Chinese man.
#54
Two heavier women were walking in front of us and my son then yells "look it's the 1000 lb sisters". I had been watching the show 1000 lbs sisters.
#55
I'm overweight and had a conversation with my kid that calling people fat isn't nice. So in line at Target and my kid looked at the larger person in front of us and very loudly said "SINCE I CAN'T SAY FAT, CAN I CALL HER CHUNKY INSTEAD?"
#56
My daughter wanted a bluey character dress that was almost $35 at Walmart and I told her no so she says out loud “you never have any money for clothes”. Now the whole store looking at me thinking she has no clothes.
#57
I was picking up my little brother from daycare when he was 4ish. He was pointing to who his favorite daycare teacher was and she came over to say hi. I introduced myself and then lil bro said “this is my teacher that’s round like a basketball” 🙃💀🥲 I literally froze and had no idea what to say or do other than apologize. She thankfully laughed it off and said “kids say the funniest things!”. You best believe I had a full on talk with him about that.
#58
At pre-k graduation, the teacher was speaking about how everyone had grown over the year. She says the students learned how to take turns and be respectful. My daughter yells out “But not Bobby! He didn’t get better at any of those things!” I wanted to disappear.
#59
All my life my parents have told me the story about the time a rather large woman was blocking an entire isle and I said “can you please MOOOOOOOOOOOOVE🐄”
#60
My some was 3 he loved construction equipment. He called Escatvators “Diggers” we are leaving a restaurant while on vacation in SC as we exit the restaurant he points acrossed the street to a construction site that had several Escatvators and yells look Dad “Diggers” as a African American family were walking up to the restaurant. I was so embarrassed. I apologized and explained the whole thing to them because they thought he said something else at first after explaining it we all had a laugh bet I was so embarrassed.
#61
My daughter told a guy at a gas station that he was HUGE ( he was ) & all I could do is say I was so sorry. The guy looked like he was gonna cry.
#62
My daughter saw a little person at the grocery store and said "look! it's a pigeon!"
#63
My 5 yr old son saw a large black man and “Hey Hey Hey…It’s Fat Albert!’ His fav cartoon ❤️I almost climbed under the clothes rack.
#64
In line at the grocery store and the lady in front of us (was on the heavy side) started to back up and my son asked why she didn’t beep…..he also had just learned that some large vehicles beep when they go in reverse. She 100% heard him.
#65
My daughter got hurt at the park and asked if i could place a band aid on her . I said "No i don't have any " this girl took the biggest gasp and said " Do you not have any because you don't have any money ?!?!😳" i wanted to fade away
#66
One time we went to waffle house and my son told the server “the tooth fairy is coming to your house after she leaves mine.”
#67
When my son was little we were walking around downtown and this veteran with a prosthetic leg walked by us and my son’s eyes shot open super big and he yelled “omg mom he has a peg leg!” While jumping and pointing😑 we apologized of course….
#68
My 3 year old daughter loves karate kid (the one with Jaden smith). We went to target and we were in the men’s section shopping for tshirts for my husband and she saw a black man with corn rows, pointed at him, and goes “mom it’s karate kid.”
