Harry and Meghan have confirmed they’ve “received email correspondence from His Majesty’s office regarding the Coronation” – and now some are worried it will be overshadowed by them, whether they attend or not.
Which it will be. Thank god . This is the only interesting thing about the whole event.
Ostentatious display of wealth during the cost of living crisis aside, how can we possibly get excited about watching a septuagenarian being formally given a job he’ll have been doing for nine months by then, while The Other Woman sits next to him like the cat who got the Queen?
It says everything about this occasion that the solitary talking point looks likely to be some people who aren’t there.
And that’s before we get to the little matter of who is paying for this £100million fandango. The official answer is The Government, but obviously that doesn’t mean Rishi Sunak will be dipping into the loose change he keeps in his trouser pocket.
It means us. Our taxes. Yup, turns out there’s no such thing as a free bank holiday.
This Coronation will mean a lot to some Brits, and that’s lovely for them. Life is tough, who would begrudge anyone a bit of pleasure if that’s what they’re into. But if individuals were consulted on what they wanted their particular taxes to be spent on, this isn’t something I’d personally choose.
Not only am I all pomped out after the Platinum Jubilee and Queen’s funeral (when you’ve seen one gold carriage, you’ve seen ’em all) I’d rather my contribution to the national purse went to an essential, underfunded service that benefits everyone, like the NHS.
Ardent royalists’ spirits will presumably be lifted by watching Charles have a razzy hat put on his head really slowly. But it would be far better for national morale overall if that £100m was donated to food banks, and we just looked at one of the new stamps instead.
Of course the old argument goes that days like this attract tourists, boosting the economy. That’s probably mostly true for weddings, onto which we can all project our fairytale romance fantasies, and for events featuring the more A list, compelling members of the family.
But for Charles? Really? Especially as the main draw – H&M – are tbc? Would you seriously fork out for air fares and hotels for this one if you lived abroad?
Maybe this Coronation should be more democratic, and become a pay per view event, like a boxing match.
Those happy for their hard earned taxes to be spent on it can put their cash in the hat, and enjoy it in all its glory. The rest of us can opt out.
Clearly the plans would then have to be adjusted as a result, according to how much the whip-round had raised.
Although, ironically, if it was downsized to a bus ride with a Tesco meal deal on the way home?
Now that I would watch.
