MEQUON, Wis. _ For nearly 25 years, Charlie Sykes was one of the most powerful and influential voices in Wisconsin.
He cheer-led policies that turned this historically progressive state into a model of conservative governance. He made and destroyed political careers, using his perch on Milwaukee talk radio to help vault figures such as House Speaker Paul Ryan and Gov. Scott Walker to national prominence.
But for the moment Sykes was speechless. He sank into the brown leather banquette of a suburban steakhouse. He stammered. He sighed.
"When you've devoted your whole life to certain beliefs and you think now they have been undermined and that you might have been deluded about things," he began. "So. So. Um ... "
In 2016 Sykes emerged as one of Donald Trump's most prominent critics, a stance that outraged listeners, strained long-standing friendships and left him questioning much of what he once held true.
What it means to be a conservative. The role of race in politics. The wisdom of voters.
More troubling, Sykes believes he and others in the shoutrageous world of talk radio contributed mightily to the rise of Trump, to the contagion of fake news that abetted his presidential candidacy and to invigorating the racist, sexist and xenophobic elements drawn to his caustic campaign.
"Reaping the whirlwind," Sykes calls it, and though his heresy has opened new avenues, including a commentary role on left-leaning MSNBC, many erstwhile foes question both his motivations and avowedly sudden self-awareness _ the leitmotif for a book due out in October.
They liken him to a pyromaniac grieving over the ashes he created, or, as former Wisconsin Democratic Chairman Mike Tate put it, "a guy who slowly fed poison to his dog for 10 years then, when the dog dies of poisoning, throws up his hands and says, 'My God, how did that happen?'"
For Sykes, it presents something of an existential crisis. Reviled by old allies on the right _ "Judas goat!" "Benedict Arnold!" _ and distrusted by many on the left, he quit his radio show and finds himself a bit at sea.
"Kind of the man without a country at the moment," Sykes said.
