The Union Street Guest House has this week been labelled perhaps the meanest, mardiest, most criticism-resistant hotel in the US. The Hudson, New York establishment's website listed a charge of $500 (£296) for wedding couples if they or their guests left negative reviews on online customer review sites. Of course, such exercises in damage limitation only reap dividends, both in terms of limiting dissent or making a few extra bucks out of disgruntled guests, if the rest of the world doesn't know about them. Sadly for the Union Street Guest House, the rest of the world has found out about them – prompting the hotel to issue a statement saying the whole thing was a joke.
Unconvinced, pranksters have had great fun this week leaving humorous "guest reviews" of the hotel on online review site Yelp, safe in the knowledge that they have no three-figure deposit to be withheld. Indeed, more than 500 of said reviews appeared in one day, sending the guesthouse's average rating plummeting to one out of five, which is an achievement in itself given that many people still left ironic five-star ratings in among the slatings.
Here are some of the best complaints:
▶ "Nice soothing screeching noises everywhere all the time at night." Mihai D, Beaconsfield, Canada
▶ "Went to sleep here with two testicles. Woke up. They gone." Joe C, Virginia
▶ "I stayed here on March 14th, woke up the next day, BOOM! Ebola outbreak in West Africa. Coincidence? I think not." Daniel, San Diego
▶ "The hall was double-booked for my wedding and a white supremacist rally, which added character." Steve W, Foster City
▶ "I sneezed once in the lobby and was charged a $250 cleaning fee." Scott L, Las Vegas
▶ "I had the feeling I was being watched the whole time during my stay, then the creep at the front desk stabbed me to death while I was in the shower." John B, California
▶ "I didn't read the fine print carefully. Apparently the Hotel Manager had the right of 'prima nocta' and was legally allowed to sleep with the bride on the first night." Joe D, New York
▶ "Had my wedding here, and they required a human sacrifice. I objected, but it was clearly printed in size 1 font in a lost dialect of Sumerian at the bottom of the agreement." Chris, Phoenix
▶ "The floors made my feet smell like feet." RB, Los Angeles
