Maybe I've got too much time on my hands, but one of the most enjoyable parts of my week is looking through the Amazon hot future releases chart. I justify it as legitimate research for forthcoming Digested Reads but I'd probably do it anyway. Most weeks the list is a fairly predictable mix of blockbusters, literary heavyweights, diet books and - for reasons only known to those who read it - sci-fi.
This week, though, the list looked a little different. At 33 there was Masterclass: Anal Sex; at 41 Low Down on Going Down: How to Give Her Mind-Blowing Oral Sex; and, at 52, Blow Him Away: How to Give Him Mind-Blowing Oral Sex. Come again? Or perhaps not. Don't misunderstand me. I'm not bothered about the subject matter; consenting adults can do what they like. What astonishes me is that these three books feature in the top 100.
It's never been exactly clear how the Amazon charts work - are they solely determined by sales or do the number of page impressions count as well? Either way, the presence of these sex manuals in the chart must mean that people have been pre-ordering or thumbing them - metaphorically of course - in significant numbers. These books - on Amazon, at least - are more eagerly awaited than forthcoming titles from, among others, Alexander McCall Smith, Reginald Hill and Danielle Steel.
So who are these people that are so desperate for these titles? And why are they keener on anal rather than oral sex? This isn't just an excuse to make a few gags - the readers will probably have enough of their own. I genuinely want to know. If you're after smut there are plenty of more obvious places to go than Amazon. If you're genuinely in need of lessons in these skills, I'd have thought that finding a willing partner who can help you practise and who will give you practical feedback would be a more sensible - not to mention cheaper - way of approaching the problem.
I'd find it easier to understand if these books had already been published. They're never going to feature front of store at Waterstone's and, even if they were, who would want to face the embarrassment of buying them in public when you can do it anonymously online? But as these books haven't been published yet and no one I know has received any advance publicity material, how do so many people seem to be aware of their imminent release?
The cynical view is that the publishers have managed to hype their books by ordering them in advance. But what would it mean if these books had earned their position legitimately? I'll be keeping a close eye on these titles in the next few days. And if I find them creeping up the charts, then I would rather assume that you might be the people to tell me.
