The potholes in Railway Street at Minmi are so big, Bob Skelton is thinking of throwing a line in them.
With recent rain, he figures he might catch a fish or two for dinner.
So is this the worst suburban street in Australia? Maybe not the worst. It could be in the top 100. Perhaps it's in the top 50. Any bids for top 20?
At Minmi, the locals say their potholes are so big, pothole repair trucks have been known to fall in them and never come out.
Their potholes are so big, the town doesn't need a community swimming pool.
Their potholes are so big, they have their own yacht club.
Their potholes are so big, people run out of petrol driving around it.
Their potholes are so big, they need two clocks for each time zone they cover.
Bob - a bush poet known as The Minmi Magster - said it wasn't entirely clear whose responsibility it was to fix the road.
A lot of buck passing has been going on.
Topics reckons there must be a real skill to passing the buck. What is a buck anyway? Apparently it's related to poker. Way back in the day, a knife with a buckhorn handle would be used to indicate the person whose turn it was to deal. If the player didn't want to deal, they could pass the "buck".
In modern parlance, it's known as passing the blame.
As they say, to err is human. To blame it on someone else shows management potential.
At interviews for bureaucratic jobs, buck-passing is a key box to be ticked, along with the ability to craft long convoluted reports, mumble on cue and kick things into long grass.
Which reminds us of the old adage that a committee is 12 people doing the work of one. And always remember, it's not who you know, it's whom.
But we digress. The Magster's point is, nothing much has been done about this road in 22 years. It's true, he wrote a poem about the problem in 1998.
It's titled, A Whole Lot of Potholes.
If your drivin' out 'round Minmi way
Then drop into Railway Street
It's the worst street in Australia
For big potholes numerous and deep
One proved to be so deep I'm told
And I vouch this is no lie
They're mining coal from that pothole
In Railway Street Minmi
The mining company is delighted
They're makin' a fortune from the coal
That exceeds quantity and quality
Produced from that famous seam borehole.
Coco Pops Controversy
Coco Pops was trending on Twitter on Wednesday.
A British MP wrote to Kellogg's asking why it used a monkey mascot for Coco Pops, but three white boys for Rice Krispies [known as Rice Bubbles here].
We had a read of the different sides of the debate, including those for and against the so-called woke, politically correct position.
Then we noticed a tweet from a woman who urged people to forget Coco Pops and buy Froot Loops instead.
To which we say, why not eat a nice bowl of healthy muesli instead? And throw some berries on there, too.
We should add that we're all for equality, but some cereals are more equal than others. Like muesli without added sugar.
Down with racism and down with unhealthy food. That's all we're saying.
Oh, and give peace a chance.
- topics@newcastleherald.com.au
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