Hollyoaks has continued its powerful Hollyoaks: IRL (In Real Life) series, which see cast members come face-to-face with viewers who have been impacted by the soap’s storylines.
In the latest instalment, airing during LGBTQ+ Pride Month, Hollyoaks fan Justin Beck detailed his journey to self-acceptance and finding love after surviving gay conversion therapy in a compelling conversation with Ross Adams.
Ross’ plays Scott Drinkwell, the husband of Mitchell Deveraux who found it difficult to accept his sexuality, on the Channel 4 soap.
Viewers watched as Mitchell grappled with coming out to his strict religious grandfather in heartbreaking scenes. Despite the initial tension, Mitchell’s family accepted who he is.
Speaking to Ross about his experience, Justin from Glasgow reflected on his religious upbringing, and how he believed a full immersion baptism could “wash the gay away” as he battled coming to terms with his sexuality as a teen.
In the 10-minute documentary, Justin, who underwent six years of conversion therapy, said, “At 15, I put myself through full-immersion baptism, that's how John the Baptist baptises Jesus so essentially you're dunked under the water and brought back up again.
"Personally, it was me thinking it was going to wash the gay away and would then be able to live a normal functioning heterosexual lifestyle.
"Obviously that didn't work so I then I left my family church I had been born in and raised in then had six years of conversion therapy."
He added: "At that point, I hated myself, I wanted rid of this gay demon. I didn't want to be gay. It's something that is emotionally traumatising to go through.
"There was nobody that I could turn to, nobody in that church ever said to me, 'Justin, you're just gay and that's OK' so it's a very lonely place. Looking back I was emotionally vulnerable, and very open to be manipulated and swayed.
"All conversion therapy is coercive, you can't give consent to that."
After a difficult decade, which saw him contemplate suicide, Justin said he is "proud" of his sexuality and wants to celebrate it.
He shared: "I’m proud of the fact that I’m gay, and I love the fact that I’m gay, and these are things that 19-year-old Justin would never have been able to say, being able to genuinely do it, and genuinely celebrate that fact, that took a decade.”
And after surviving a traumatic experience, Justin heart-warmingly revealed that he’s engaged to his long-term partner Paul and has never been happier.
Paul, who wells up when discussing how proud he is of Justin, shared: “Every time Justin speaks, I find myself getting upset, but in a really powerful way, I’m so proud.”
If you're struggling and need to talk, the Samaritans operate a free helpline open 24/7 on 116 123. Alternatively, you can email jo@samaritans.org or visit their site to find your local branch.
* Hollyoaks IRL, I Survived Conversion Therapy is live on Hollyoaks’ social media platforms now
