Hollyoaks actress Kirsty Leigh-Porter posts heartbreaking tribute to stillborn daughter

Hollyoaks actress Kirsty-Leigh Porter has paid an emotional tribute to her stillborn daughter on Instagram.

Porter, who plays Leela Lomax on the Channel 4 soap, announced the tragic death of her “beautiful baby girl” Penny-Leigh who was born sleeping in December 2018 .

The actress returned to social media on Tuesday night to pay a heartbreaking tribute to her late baby girl, saying that her “heart physically aches” as she suffers “unbelievable grief”.

Accompanying her lengthy post was an image with her arms raised to the sky, holding a baby with angel wings.

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I have been wondering whether I should post this or not.. but here it is... I am posting this for Penny-Leigh, I am posting this for every single woman and man who have messaged me with their stories of their sleeping angels, (I have read every single one and still messaging back) I am posting this for anyone who needs to see it, I am posting this with strength that our babies will not be forgotten. I am posting this with the strength of every single person who has messaged me who understands what it’s like, in the hope that you understand you are not alone. And I am here for you. I wrote this when I had just lost my baby girl Penny-Leigh. 👼🏼 My heart physically aches, it is in a million pieces and whilst they try to find their way back together it’s no use as my heart will never be whole again, because when you left, a big piece of it left with you and will always be with you wherever you are. Nothing makes sense anymore because I can’t hold you in my arms. I don’t get to see your first smile, your first wriggle, I don’t get to dress you, change your nappy, feed you, bath you, kiss you goodnight and hug you in the morning, watch you take your first steps, watch you grow, But I will always be your mummy. I will always do you proud. As unbelievable grief consumes me and this dark cloud sticks above me, I still have your light to guide me. The brightest star in the sky. Oh my darling Penny-Leigh, my beautiful little girl, You came into our life like a whirlwind and now all of sudden it’s gone. Quiet and still, completely numb. All our plans, our future, snatched away in a moment that we can never go back too and change. My mind can’t comprehend how I have given birth yet my baby is not here with me. How is that ok? How is that ever going to be ok? People say “she was too good for this earth” but that would mean there was a reason you are not still here with your mummy and daddy, and I don’t think there is any reason for it. How can being anywhere but in our arms better for you? With the overwhelming grief comes GUILT. If I’m not a heap on the bathroom floor hiding myself away crying, I am wondering aimlessly around the room with GUILT #stillborn #angelbaby

A post shared by Kirsty-Leigh Porter ☮️♑️💟 (@kirststarburst) on Feb 12, 2019 at 4:29pm PST

Porter wrote: “My heart physically aches, it is in a million pieces and whilst they try to find their way back together it’s no use as my heart will never be whole again, because when you left, a big piece of it left with you and will always be with you wherever you are.

“Nothing makes sense anymore because I can’t hold you in my arms. I don’t get to see your first smile, your first wriggle, I don’t get to dress you, change your nappy, feed you, bath you, kiss you goodnight and hug you in the morning, watch you take your first steps, watch you grow, But I will always be your mummy.

“As unbelievable grief consumes me and this dark cloud sticks above me, I still have your light to guide me. The brightest star in the sky. Oh my darling Penny-Leigh, my beautiful little girl, You came into our life like a whirlwind and now all of sudden it’s gone. Quiet and still, completely numb. “

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💔 Our beautiful baby girl, Penny-Leigh Barber was born sleeping on the 21st of December 2018 at 6.49am, 29 weeks & 3 days young. My heart has never felt pain like it. Sleep sweetly our angel. We will always love you. Love your Mummy & Daddy 💔 My Everything 💔

A post shared by Kirsty-Leigh Porter ☮️♑️💟 (@kirststarburst) on Jan 29, 2019 at 12:39pm PST

She went on to say that her “mind couldn’t comprehend” what had happened and how she couldn’t see a “reason” her little girl was not with her parents.

At the end of the emotional post, Porter described "overwhelming grief" and feeling a sense of "guilt" after her tragic loss.

At the end of January, Porter revealed that Penny-Leigh had been stillborn at 29 weeks and 3 days gestation just before Christmas last year.

She said at the time that she had “never felt pain like it” as she paid tribute to her angel.