PLAY IT, SAM
With the rubble of their summer despair behind them, Sunday night marked that point in The Cycle when the obligatory mourning period following England’s most recent calamitous tournament exit ends and the comically misguided hope before the next one flickers into life. Tentative at first, it will gradually reach full throttle as England sweep all before them in qualifying and then … well, y’know.
With Mr Roy having been jettisoned and possibly still sitting in a Chantilly media room not really knowing what he’s doing there, Sam Allardyce took charge and introduced swingeing changes by starting only eight of the players who ran around looking so confused against Iceland, when England took their first steps down the road to redemption in Trnava. Having huffed and puffed for more than 90 minutes in much the same fashion as they had against exactly the same opposition a couple of months ago, they finally blew Slovakia’s house down courtesy of the lucky coin a young child had given Sam earlier that day, though Adam Lallana may beg to differ.
A cursory look at Sam’s CV is enough to tell you he’s no miracle worker so he was always unlikely to transform England’s fortunes in just one game, but it was his post-match comments regarding the apparently undroppable Wayne Rooney that suggested the new boss may not be entirely dissimilar to the old boss, or indeed any of the bosses that have remained so in awe of the once-brilliant player’s fading superpowers. Having been appointed with the brief of telling England’s under-performing players exactly what to do, Sam admitted afterwards that he is in no position to tell England’s underperforming players what to do. “I think [Rooney] holds a lot more experience at international football than I do as an international manager,” he said. “So, when he’s using his experience and playing as a team member, it’s not for me to say where he’s going to play.”
Ho and indeed hum. Having assured the ladies and gentlemen of the Fourth Estate in the buildup to the game that Rooney would not be playing in midfield against Slovakia, Sam was at least occasionally vindicated when Rooney dropped from his deep-lying midfield role to play as central defender or sweeper. Furthermore, it is hardly unfair to say that the Big Finger O’ Blame for much of England’s ponderous play could be pointed towards their captain, whose signposted passing towards the flanks did little to inject any of the urgency Sam felt was missing under the old regime. “This is the most decorated outfield player in England,” blabbered Sam, when quizzed on Rooney’s role. “He’s won everything at Manchester United, at [Big Cup] and domestic level.” Of course, so have Davids Beckham and May but nobody’s clamouring for their inclusion. “We aren’t going to make a big deal about it are we?” enquired Sam eventually, suggesting that, unlike Rooney, he still has an awful lot to learn.
LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“Being a gay American, I know what it means to look at the flag and not have it protect all of your liberties. It was something small that I could do and something that I plan to keep doing in the future and hopefully spark some meaningful conversation around it. It’s important to have white people stand in support of people of colour on this. We don’t need to be the leading voice, of course, but standing in support of them is something that’s really powerful” – Megan Rapinoe on kneeling during the national anthem before Seattle Reign’s NWSL game against Chicago Red Stars.
RECOMMENDED LISTENING
Join AC Jimbo and co for our aural autopsy of the latest action, in Football Weekly.
INTERNATIONAL BREAK FIVER LETTER
“The optimist in me won’t succumb to cynicism and despair. To someone of a less rosy outlook, ‘the great Premier League loan-player stockpile’ (Friday’s Still Want More?) wherein one team, Chelsea, doles out greater than three entire sides’ worth of players, to teams of their choosing, might sound as much like efforts to use cold hard cash to prevent talent reaching specific teams than hiding individual buys for any other reason. It’s kinda like if a Las Vegas poker dealer allows the player with the most cash to choose their own cards and 38 more cards and then allows them to redeal those cards to players and tables solely of their choosing. It is strange. Someone of a more cynical disposition might even go so far as to aver that with such motives behind the system, there is really no way the loaned out players could possibly be expected (exceptional instances like Romelu Lukaku notwithstanding) to develop properly. But, then again, the optimist in me doesn’t read The Fiver” – Petr Swedock.
• Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And if you’ve nothing better to do you can also tweet The Fiver. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is … Rollover.
JOIN GUARDIAN SOULMATES
Chances are that if you’re reading this tea-timely football email, you’re almost certainly single. But fear not – if you’d like to find companionship or love, sign up here to view profiles of the kind of erudite, sociable and friendly folk who would never normally dream of going out with you. And don’t forget, it’s not the rejection that kills you, it’s the hope.
BITS AND BOBS
Wee Gordon Strachan is feeling pumped after Scotland overcame nine-man Malta 5-1 in their opening World Cup 2018 qualifier. “After being 1-0 up and playing well and losing a goal, that becomes a big moment,” he tooted. “At that point we see many teams having to deal with the stress of the headlines tomorrow, the pressure of the fans – you see it all in front of you. Can you deal with it? They dealt with it.”
Norn Iron 1-0 got off to a decent start, too, drawing 0-0 in the Czech Republic, but only after Filip Novak’s shambolic second-half miss. “We’ve not been beaten,” cheered boss Michael O’Neill.
Kosovo’s first-ever World Cup qualifying campaign has been given a lift after Fifa ruled that five key players are eligible to face Finland on Monday evening. “[I] went outside and cried … the relief came out of me,” sighed Samir Ujkani, hours before kick-off.
Manchester United will continue to honour Sir Matt Busby’s memory in the Old Trafford directors’ box despite his family being moved out. “The club continues to provide tickets and hospitality for the descendants of Sir Matt but with the passing of his children that hospitality will continue in the Warwick Suite,” read a club statement.
The head of refs’ union, Prospect, says he doesn’t know of any officials being asked to lie in post-match reports to the FA, following Mark Halsey’s claims he’d been put under pressure from the PGMOL to falsely say he hadn’t seen controversial incidents. “I cannot recall any official approaching me on [that] basis,” said Alan Leighton.
And Bundesliga club Darmstadt have added the name of a fan who died from cancer to their stadium’s official title for this year. The arena will carry the name Jonathan-Heimes-Stadion am Boellenfalltor after technology company Merck gave up its naming rights for the season. “[It is a] unique action that we can only support,” said Darmstadt mayor Jochen Partsch.
STILL WANT MORE?
Paul Scholes has declared his allegiance to football hipsterism, insisting he prefers non-league to Premier League. Read all in an extract from the new Class of ‘92 book.
Michael Cox reckons Adam Lallana has emerged as England’s creator-in-chief as a result of Wayne Rooney’s wanderlust.
He may be the Football League’s youngest manager but Darren Sarll is shining at Stevenage thanks to his traditional methods and shrewd transfer dealings. So says Alan Smith.
A 10ft bronze statue and two life-sized mannequins … His museum is a reminder of huge ego but even greater talent. Sachin Nakrani paid a visit.
The new Concacaf president, Vincent Montagliani, gives a startlingly honest appraisal of his task ahead: “There’s been a sh!tstorm here.”
And September is when things really hot up in MLS, according to our USA! USA!! USA!!! desk.
Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. AND INSTACHAT, TOO!
