The Olympics have bid goodbye, Kohli got a duck, the third wave threatens to come, and so does Akki’s latest movie. I say what better time for some more life-affirming advice from His Divine Wiseness, Dr Funky Astral Kumar.
Gratitude
No one achieves success without the help of others. The wise and confident acknowledge this help with gratitude. It is better than giving equity.
Conscience
It is like the appendix. No one knows what it’s there for.
Courage
Courage is answering the doorbell despite knowing it’s the neighbours with an invite for their daughter’s dance recital.
Attitude
A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes. A negative attitude, on the other hand, lets you sit back with a drink in your hand and say, ‘Baby, could you get me the oorga?’
Reputation
It takes years to build a reputation and seconds to destroy it. So why bother?
Fairness
It is not fair to ask of others what you are unwilling to do yourself. That is why you make your wife or seven-year-old ask them.
Belief
I am made by my belief. As I believe, I am. I believe I will have another Ceylon egg parotta.
Devotion
True devotion is when your involvement with the divine is so absolute that you yourself do not matter any more. It could also mean you are dead, though.
Happiness
Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. Money, of course, is the duplicate key to both.
Ignorance
To know one’s ignorance is true knowledge. To use it well, now that is wisdom.
Journey
Life is a journey. If you get a window seat, the view might be good but going to the loo becomes difficult.
Karma
One chicken’s karma is another man’s kurma.
Loneliness
There is no greater loneliness than poor WiFi in your bathroom.
Memories
You call it a burp. I call it a precious memory of the garlic fried rice from three days ago.
Nature
In every encounter with nature, one always receives more than one seeks. On my last trip, it was ticks.
Opportunities
These are disguised as hard work. Which is why most people don’t recognise them. Come to think of it, old classmates are hard to recognise, too. Because they become bald and fat. Lol!
Questions and answers
The knowledgeable man has the right answers. The intelligent one asks the right questions. The wise man sits between these two fellows in class.
Relationships
The key to a good relationship is not the length of time you have spent together. It is the frequency of intervals you’ve spent apart.
Universe
You are the universe. Expressing itself as a human for a brief period. And as a d-bag the rest of the time.
Talent
Talent is an anagram of latent. Just like anagram is an anagram of... er... maranga. What does that mean? How should I know? I can’t tell you everything.
Krishna Shastri Devulapalli is a satirist. He has written four books and edited an anthology.
