A word to the wise: remember the name Joe Alwyn. Best-known for starring as the lead in Ang Lee’s Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk (“Very ho-hum” – the Guardian), he has just taken a brave leap into the big time by apparently dating Taylor Swift.
This, as everybody knows, is a move that is as fraught with danger as it is gilded with success. Not only will Alwyn and Swift have to play out their burgeoning courtship in the full glare of the spotlight, but they will also have to endure accusations that the whole thing is nothing more than a desperate publicity stunt schemed up to shoehorn the pair of them into newspapers.
Fortunately, Alwyn has a blueprint to follow. As long as he does the exact opposite of anything that Tom Hiddleston ever did during his doomed Hiddleswift days, he will probably be fine. No staged-looking seaside kisses. No ill-advised “I Heart TS” vests. No pictures with Ryan Reynolds, where the latter looks so stultified by your presence that he would willingly accept the hand of death. No teary-eyed magazine confessional when it all goes tits-up three months from now. If he sticks to this, and somehow manages to look like a normal human man having a nice time with his girlfriend, there might actually be a future to this.
