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I (38 female) live with my BF (45) in his house (Germany). We’re lucky to have a garden and live in a quiet neighborhood.
Except for our one neighbor. Let’s call her Karen cause it fits. Her garden is behind ours and stretches along the two houses next to ours.
She already had three dogs when I moved in (8 years ago) and now has six
She’s known for years that the constant barking day and night is very irritating (two German shepherds and a few smaller dogs), but she just doesn’t care about anyone else. Constant barking, yapping, howling. All hours of the day and night, including her and her mother (who lives with her) screaming after the dogs.
I had dogs myself (at the moment, we have three cats), I used to play with one of hers (through the fence, he’d bring me his tennis ball, I’d get it through the chain-link fence and throw it for him), until she asked me not to anymore.
Recently while she was calling loudly for the dogs (again), shortly after 10 p.m, I asked (from my balcony) if that constant shouting was necessary, her answer was yes, mine was “No it isn’t, shut the f**k up” (I could have been nicer, it just slipped out cause I was pissed). Karen told me to shut the f**k up. After that, I went inside and closed the balcony door. She came over, rang the bell, and when I didn’t answer the door, she screamed at the house for 10 minutes. (It was near 22:30 p.m.). I ignored her; otherwise, I might have given her a high five in the face with a chair.
I haven’t said anything since, but I’m documenting everything for a noise complaint with the police and the office of public order.
It has been a little quieter, and I have noticed how much the permanent noises really f**k up my mood, my sleep, everything
I was in such a good mood after two days of nearly hearing nothing from the dogs and Karen; I really wasn’t used to that anymore. I’m tired of that. My outdoor cat can’t walk through our garden without being barked at (Karen has cats herself), anyone who walks along the street in front of our house gets barked at, anything and everything gets barked at, and it’s really tiring me out.
Apart from that, she has done other things that just make one realize she isn’t a nice neighbor nor a nice human being
What are your tips? Similar situations you had? Some nice Karma delivery? Anything. Cause I’m at the end of my patience after 8 years of getting startled and not being able to sleep whenever I want, cause I get woken up. I’d really appreciate any help, thank you.
Expert’s Advice
This is clearly a frustrating and exhausting situation, and it makes sense that you’re feeling drained. Long-term noise issues can deeply affect your quality of life, and it’s normal to feel at the end of your patience.
A few key things to consider:
- Document everything. Keep a detailed log with dates, times, and descriptions of the noise. Video or audio evidence can be helpful when filing a complaint.
- Set clear boundaries. If direct confrontation escalates the situation, communicate only in writing or through official channels.
- Seek formal support. File a noise complaint with local authorities and contact your community’s office of public order. In Germany, noise regulations are taken seriously.
- Protect your well-being. While waiting for a resolution, use earplugs or white noise machines to help preserve your sleep and mental health.
- Consider mediation. If possible, a neutral third party (like a community mediator) can sometimes resolve conflicts that direct conversation cannot.
You’re not being unreasonable for wanting peace in your own home. It’s okay to take steps that protect your well-being and finally bring the noise issue under control.
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