PUTTING THOSE BRONZE MEDALLISTS BACK IN THEIR BOX
Like Charlie Adam, Carli Lloyd can hit a ball with unerring accuracy from the halfway line. Unlike Charlie Adam, the USA! USA!! USA!!! World Cup-winning, hat-trick-scoring maestro has got something rather groovy going on.
So says the midfielder’s manager, Jill Ellis. “I called her my ‘beast’ and she’s unbelievable, a rock star,” roared Ellis, who presumably would make Lloyd AC/DC to Adam’s Aztec Camera.
If the world champions are ready to firm up their legend status rocking out on stage, what of the England team – the side that, in a remarkable display of guts and determination, beat Germany on Saturday night to finish third despite their harsh and decidedly freakish defeat to Japan?
Off the red-eye from Montreal they filed at Heathrow this morning, and the news that defender Casey Stoney had allowed her twins, Teddy and Tilly, to play with her bronze medal in their pushchair had clearly been too much for one enthusiastic social media bod back at FA Towers.
Fun’s over, girls, and a shame for all the newly captive audience who have bought tickets for the resumption of the Women’s Super League this weekend that they have been sold a pup. There will be no professional footballers taking part as billed when Manchester City (six England representatives) host Birmingham (three) on Sunday afternoon, but here’s hoping for a hearty cheer nonetheless when Mother-Of-Two hurdles the challenge of Homemaker and centres for Washer-Upper for a simple finish past Doting Wife. The Bronzes, Houghtons, Carneys and Scotts of this world regret to tell ticketholders that they have remained 5,000 miles across the Atlantic, where they are at least safe from being treated with an ephemeral seriousness that reduces itself to an outdated notion of brass tacks when there isn’t the grand title of ‘World Cup’ to append to their day-to-day endeavours.
Just the one ill-advised sortie into the unforgiving, unforgetting world of the internet, sure – at the end of a month that may well prove to have done immeasurable good to women’s football. It would be easy to play the “so what could we reduce the men’s team to?” game, but the comparison would be odious. Ellis grew up in Portsmouth, moving Stateside when she was 15, and had not been able to play organised football with others of her gender until leaving England. It was her new country that moulded her into the outstanding coach she is today. The environment is changing much for the better and means that, at some stage down the line, England will probably produce a World Cup-winning female manager too. So rather than putting our World Cup bronze medallists back in their box, let’s celebrate them for the world-class athletes that they are and urge them on to achieve more – by telling them they, like Carli Lloyd, rock.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“ライブブログ日本語で嬉しい！イギリスにいるのに読むチャンスあまりない...ところで ‘schoolboy defending’ 日本語でなんと言いますか？” – even kanji symbols, that have been around for just the 4,000 years, were beyond being able to describe the shambles in Japan’s back four in Big Website’s Japanese language MBM this morning.
FIVER LETTERS
“It’s not funny or anything, but can you spare us further emails from Liverpool fans who aren’t from Liverpool trying to pretend that choosing to support Liverpool in the early 80s was some sort of decision that’s led to a lifetime of pain and suffering, but hey! That’s just the sort of guy they are. Crazy. Counter-intuitive. Against The Man. Nothing to do with endless succession of league wins, FA cups wins etc. that were around in the 80s. Or indeed most of the 90s and 00s (excepting the league bit, obvs). If this sounds like a rant, it is. Congratulations Fiver – you’ve finally managed to make me feel something” – Graham Smith.
“I know you are just trolling the readers, but do you mean to tell us that Berlusconi’s mask (Friday’s bits and bobs) was actually playing a coin-based card game (at least that’s what Wikipedia says), rather than masquerading as the infamous Italian gentleman?” – Joe Pearson (and 1,056 others).
‘STOP CYCLING? (That campaign’s already under way – Fiver Ed)’ – Ed Ainscow.
“I can live with the ‘dark ages’, ‘medieval walled village’ feel of the revamped Stamford Bridge (Friday’s Quote of the Day), but that ghost priest sitting at so many of the bistro tables is going to haunt my dreams forever!” – Scott Henderson.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And if you’ve nothing better to do you can also tweet the Fiver. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is: Ed Ainscow.
BITS AND BOBS
“He is silent charisma, the steady hand in the middle of the park, the dummy that undoes the opposition defence. He’s that unexpected game that splits the game wide open, the lofted pass that brings a team to its knees.” Juventus got a bit carried away as they bid arrivederci to Andrea Pirlo, who will join USA! USA!! USA!!! soccerballers New York City FC.
Two years after signing a five year contract at Manchester United, Nani will be showboating-with-no-great-purpose his way around the Sukru Saracoglu after Fenerbahce confirmed that they have signed the winger for £4.3m.
Josh McEachran has once again proven Chelsea’s commitment to developing homegrown youth players by clambering aboard the Do One Express and riding it all the way to Brentford.
Watford have broken their club record fee of £6.3m for … Spurs reject Étienne Capoue.
Uefa has opened disciplinary proceedings against Aberdeen’s Europa League rivals Shkendija after goalkeeper Danny Ward was Goldfingered by a laser beam.
And Juan Cuadrado’s Mr 15% has said stories his client has booked his tickets to the holiday destination of Doone are untrue. “Much to my amazement, I read in some English and Italian newspapers about imaginary figures and agents associated with Cuadrado, so I think it is right to clarify the situation,” he once upon a timed.
RECOMMENDED LISTENING
In the last of our Football Weekly presents series … Iain Macintosh tells the extraordinary tale of Steve Davies, the West Ham fan who, as legend had it, was plucked from the terraces and put onto the pitch by Harry Redknapp in one of West Ham’s pre-season friendlies.
STILL WANT MORE?
Sean O’Driscoll can unify Liverpool’s high-intensity pressing game that wasn’t very high or very intense last season under Brendan Rodgers, so says Andy Hunter.
How USA! USA!! USA!!! won the World Cup. Yes, they did score more goals but Caitlin Murray goes a little deeper than that.
Thwack! Louise Taylor hands out her Women’s World Cup gongs.
$tevie Mbe must learn from Robbie Keane’s example at LA Galaxy, writes Graham Ruthven, which surely can’t be a good thing for the 35-year-old’s knees when he tries to ape the Republic O’Ireland striker’s celebration.
Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace.
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