Heroes
Michael Clarke
Few traumas are as difficult to negotiate as the death of a loved one, but most forced to do so can at least take time out to grieve privately before tentatively moving on. Michael Clarke was afforded little such luxury upon being blindsided by the death of Phillip Hughes, a dear friend and Australian team-mate, who fell at the Sydney Cricket Ground after being struck by a bouncer delivered by the unfortunate Sean Abbott.
Forced centre-stage into the spotlight when he would almost certainly preferred to have been anywhere else, the Australia captain could scarcely have performed more heroically as he spoke on behalf of his team-mates and their backroom staff. On more than one occasion, Clarke struggled through tears whether delivering statements to the media or a heartfelt eulogy at the funeral of his friend. “Phillip’s spirit, which is now part of our game forever, will act as a custodian of the sport we all love,” he said on a poignant day in Macksville. “We must listen to it. We must cherish it. We must learn from it. We must dig in and get through to tea. And we must play on.” In the most horrible circumstances, 2014 was the year the Aussie they know as “Pup” grew up.
Erik Compton
For all Rory McIlroy’s on-course achievements in winning two majors and playing a key role in Europe’s successful Ryder Cup campaign, the caddish manner in which he ended his engagement to tennis player Caroline Wozniacki shortly after the invitations went out means he narrowly misses our cut.
Unlike McIlroy, the journeyman American golfer Erik Compton has never knowingly upset a Danish national treasure and his biggest victory to date was in the 2011 Mexico Open. Despite being beaten by Martin Kaymer in this year’s US Open, Compton made headlines by finishing tied second with his friend Rickie Fowler at Pinehurst despite having undergone not one, but two heart transplants: the first one at 12 years old, then another at the age of 28.
“I’ve been on my back twice and I never thought I would ever leave the house,” said Compton, in the wake of a remarkable performance that ensured he would henceforth be known as the pro golfer who happened to have two heart transplants, rather than the guy who had two heart transplants and happens to play pro golf.
Steven Naismith
The Everton forward has been playing some of the best football of his career this season, but made headlines for his philanthropy before a ball was kicked in the current Premier League campaign. Naismith paid for four Everton season tickets and donated them to Liverpool’s unemployed, instructing Jobcentre Plus to offer them to various Everton-supporting jobseekers at different offices around Merseyside.
“I come from Ayrshire in the West of Scotland and spent a lot of my life in Glasgow – a city that, at times, has suffered from high unemployment,” said Naismith. “Historically a lot of this was the result of a decline in heavy industry and shipbuilding. Liverpool has a similar history and I’m aware that, through no fault of their own, there are many unemployed in Liverpool trying hard to find a job and may not be able to afford a ticket. I thought this might be a small gesture to help those in that situation to enjoy a day out at one of our league matches. Hopefully it can bring joy to many people.”
The Scandinavian footballers Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Daniel Agger also merit an honourable mention, having personally picked up the tabs required to send the Swedish learning difficulties football team and Danish homeless football teams to their respective World Cups.
The people of Scotland
It was a busy year for Scottish folk, who narrowly rejected the opportunity to govern themselves, but demonstrated no small talent for laying on massive sporting jamborees. September’s independence referendum was the big story of the past 12 months, but in sporting terms 2014 will be remembered as the year that Scotland welcomed the world, proving most agreeable hosts to the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow, Ryder Cup at Gleneagles and the England football team at Celtic Park. Their welcome couldn’t have been warmer and even the Commonwealth Games, so often considered about as meaningful and important a sporting competition as some random event staged for countries whose names begin with the letter P, were a box office smash.
As if all the free publicity and tourist revenue with which the good people of Scotland were rewarded for their hospitality was not enough, their country was subsequently handed the privilege of staging this year’s BBC Sports Personality of the Year awards in Glasgow. Like the referendum, it was another poll whose outcome generated no end of childish bickering. Like the Commonwealth Games, it is often considered about as meaningful and important a sporting contest as some random event staged for countries whose names begin with the letter P.
Javier Mascherano
Considering the brouhaha over Lewis Hamilton winning the BBC Sports personality of the year ahead of Rory McIlroy, it seems odd that the indelible imprint of one man’s memorable contribution to the global sporting landscape in the past 12 months has been largely forgotten. During an outstanding performance for Argentina against Holland in the World Cup semi-final, Javier Mascherano made a heroic last-minute match-saving tackle on Arjen Robben, only to tell reporters of the eye-watering consequences.
“I though I had slipped, I thought I wouldn’t make it,” he said, in the build-up to his horrifying reveal. “I tore my anus on that move, the pain … it was terrible.” Although an ultimately futile sacrifice for the Argentinian cause, Mascherano’s agony did at least enable him to forget about the pain of a serious head injury he’d sustained earlier in a match from which he emerged battered, bruised and torn but ultimately happy. “I cried at the end because I have spent a lot of time waiting for this moment,” he said, presumably referring to the fulfilment of a long-held desire to participate in a World Cup final rather than some weird ambition to lacerate his backside. Javier, we salute you.
Villains
Fifa
Hats off to Fifa, the gift that keeps on giving for those tasked with compiling lists of those devoted to acts of buffoonish villainy. Having been accused of financial chicanery on a preposterous scale in awarding the 2018 and 2022 World Cups to Russia and Qatar, world football’s governing body appointed the former New York prosecutor Michael Garcia to investigate. To nobody’s great surprise, a Fifa-commissioned 42-page summary of his as-yet-unreleased Fifa-commissioned findings written by Hans-Joachim Eckert, Fifa’s ethics judge, exonerated world football’s governing body of nearly all wrongdoing.
Angered at what he described as “numerous erroneous misrepresentations” of his 430-page report, Garcia appealed against the findings, lost and has since resigned citing a “lack of leadership” at Fifa. Sepp Blatter and his upstanding colleagues have now declared their latest crisis over, but agreed to publish a redacted version of Garcia’s report. “We have been in a crisis,” said Sepp Blatter, the Fifa president. “The crisis has stopped because we again have the unity in our government.” Expect the published version to contain more blacked out words than a Have I Got News For You missing headlines round.
Vanessa-Mae
The classical violinist, who finished last out of the 67 competitors in the women’s giant slalom event at the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi, was alleged to have cheated in qualifying for the Games by participating in races which were reportedly fixed in comically poor fashion. The 36-year-old competed for Thailand, and was handed a four-year ban from the International Ski Federation (FIS) for being “either an active or knowing participant in the manipulation of the results of four giant slalom races” in Slovenia in January.
Four Slovenian Ski Association officials were suspended after an investigation into alleged improprieties regarding the results of the races, which enabled Vanessa-Mae to pick up the necessary qualification points required for her to compete in Sochi. Her lawyers are on the case and she has since appealed against her ban.
Over two legs of her event in Sochi, she hesitantly negotiated the course in a total of 3min 26.97sec, over 11 seconds slower than the next worst finisher. “I think it’s hard to stay focused but I was just happy I didn’t get lost,” she said. Unless the Court of Arbitration for Sport look favourably on her appeal, the violinist will need a new string to add to her sporting bow.
Mirka Federer
Tammy Wynette would almost certainly have been proud of the manner in which Mirka Federer chose to stand by her man, but Stan Wawrinka was less than impressed. Playing his compatriot Roger Federer in the semi-final of the ATP Tour finals at London’s O2 Arena and having squandered three match points, Wawrinka was heard to complain to umpire Cédric Mourier about the poor court-side etiquette of his opponent’s wife, who could be heard encouraging her husband between his opponent’s first and second serves. “Not just before the serve,” implored Stan.
His not unreasonable request fell on deaf ears, prompting Mirka to loudly label him a “crybaby”, at which point an incredulous Wawrinka turned to Federer and asked him to clarify his wife’s thoughts on the matter. “What did she say?” he asked. Wawrinka went on to lose the match in a third set tie-break, but was so rattled by the incident he began arguing with his friend and rival en route to the locker rooms, where they were ushered into a gym to sort out their differences. The pair have since appeared to make up and later combined to help Switzerland win the Davis Cup.
Athletes participating in the ice bucket challenge
It might seem a mite churlish to corral participants in a fun wheeze dreamed up to raise awareness of an incurable neurodegenerative disease among the year’s villains, so that is exactly what we will do. Watching a certain Republic of Ireland international “call out” his celebrity chums Mickey Rourke and Steve Nash at a poolside party soundtracked by a stomping hard-house beat, before getting soaked in front of a mob of revellers chanting “Robbie! Robbie! Keano!”, one can’t help but feel that Robbie was less concerned with raising awareness of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis than showing off his six-pack and letting everyone know how well he’s getting on in Los Angeles.
Keane was far from the only offender. For a number of weeks we were treated to a stampede of attention-seeking, name-dropping athletes and sports broadcasters overwhelmed by a sudden urge to “raise awareness” of an illness most probably couldn’t pronounce, let alone spell, if asked to publicise it using anything more complicated than a plastic dustbin and some iced water. Harmless fun? Yes. But it spoke volumes about our celebrity-obsessed society. We can but hope Keane provided the use of a ladder for whoever was tasked with soaking his close personal friend, the LA Laker Nash.
Luis Suárez
It being the festive season, it would be a gross dereliction of journalistic duty to omit Luis Suárez considering his ongoing services to outright pantomime villainy. Already a convicted two-time offender in the orthodontic assault stakes, the Uruguayan striker was slung out of the World Cup after biting the shoulder of Italy defender Giorgio Chiellini for no apparent reason.
In the wake of repeated denials and outlandish excuses involving the Earth’s gravitational pull and dark conspiratorial forces, Suárez returned home to a hero’s welcome from his Uruguayan compatriots, but was forced to admit his guilt and apologise when it became apparent that failure to do so might compromise a highly lucrative move to Barcelona.
“The truth is my colleague Giorgio Chiellini suffered the physical result of a bite in the collision he suffered with me,” said Luis. “For this I deeply regret what occurred, apologise to Giorgio Chiellini and the entire football family and I vow to the public there will never be another incident like it.” Suárez’s colleague immediately accepted his mea culpa and the player later moved to Camp Nou, where he has thus far remained as good as his word but nowhere near as good as he was at Liverpool.
