A heated debate has divided the internet in recent weeks, pitting two parties against each other in the fight for ultimate power. No, I’m not talking about the 2025 Federal Election, I’m talking about the 100 men vs 1 gorilla debate.
The question has dominated my stream of consciousness for about a week now and as the investigative journalist that I so obviously am, I wanted to get to the bottom of it. Why? Because I’ve written the words ‘Peter Dutton‘ too many times this weekend and well and truly deserve to feel some semblance of joy.
So, without further ado… Who would win in a fight between 100 men and one gorilla?
Why does it matter?
Short answer? It doesn’t. But if deep diving into a stupid loose thread of internet culture is a crime, lock me up.
The debate has been passed around corners of the internet for years now after apparently first being proposed on Reddit in 2020, but it has gained momentum recently on X (formerly Twitter).
The question has even attracted the attention of Mr. Beast and Elon Musk, so I guess its only a matter of time before 100 men sacrifice their lives for the sake of a billionaire’s social media engagement.
But before we all sign up for the latest version of Squid Games, let’s take a look at what the experts say about the battle.
Could one man beat one gorilla?
As an Australian who has to wake up every day knowing full well an entire army lost a war against a bunch of flightless birds, I am not confident in the slightest. But I also lack the deluded confidence of a man, so what the hell would I know?
Gorillas are generally reserved creatures and will only attack if surprised or provoked. Even if a gorilla is spooked, it would be more likely to bluff charge you to scare you off. TL;DR: gorillas are too smart to waste their time fighting us.
However, if you were (hypothetically) to pick a fight with a gorilla, you’d almost certainly lose.
Gorillas can bite off animal flesh with ease, and can lift more than 160kg so you’d be likely thrown around like a WWE wrestler getting body-slammed into a table.
The gentle giants of the jungle also have the ability to demonstrate empathy — so there’s a chance the gorilla would give up after making human soup with the first 50 humans.
But where man can make a comeback here is by working together.
According to conservationist and communications director of Zoo Miami Ron Magill, 100 men in their 20s in peak physical condition could beat one gorilla, provided they “are committed and go in united”.
Considering most groups of 20-something-year-old men can barely work together to plan dinner at the local pub, I remain sceptical that they could unite to fight a gorilla.
Speaking to Rolling Stone, Magill noted that we’d expect “severe collateral damage that could easily include death from broken necks, severe arterial bite wounds, massive concussions leading to fatal brain bleeds, and asphyixiation from other men piling on top of them.”
“It could be a kamikaze mission for the men closest to the gorilla,” he said.
“The group should be able to overtake the gorilla and inflict enough blunt force trauma combined with severe twisting of the head and neck while simultaneously inflicting severe abdominal punches, that the gorilla would eventually succumb to either a broken neck, internal organ damage, or asphyxiation,” he said.
Basically, to defeat a gorilla you’d need to “create a human straightjacket” to prevent the animal from breathing or moving.
Other experts like primatologist Michelle Rodrigues told Rolling Stone that the animal would simply flee the scene because “it’s not a fair fight”.
She added that, like humans, gorillas depend on socialisation and community when decision-making, which would put them at a disadvantage — particularly if there are no women.
“Gorillas are group-living animals, and when male gorillas do not have a group of females to lead or co-lead, they are instead found in bachelor groups with other males,” she said.
“It’s rarer to find one on their own, and the social context influences the degree to which they would be willing to fight.”
Another expert, primatologist Cat Hobaiter, was less convinced when she spoke to Rolling Stone.
Assuming we’re talking about 100 average guys without weapons, rushing the gorilla in groups of 6-8 men at a time, she thinks the humans wouldn’t stand a chance.
“Honestly, 100 guys wouldn’t stand a chance,” she said.
“They’re going to be swatting at him like out-of-breath children, and a single one of his punches would floor them. And if the next 92 guys don’t realize they don’t stand a chance after he has knocked the first eight out without breaking a sweat, I’ve got to assume we’re not talking about folks who are going to outsmart him.”
Gorillas may not rip your face off, but our closest living relative could
While we may be able to take on a gorilla, a primate that is much more closely related to us could pose a bigger threat.
The chimpanzee — which we share up to 98 percent of our DNA with — could cause some real damage to humans, despite being a similar size.
Not only are the highly intelligent, but they are becoming more aggressive towards humans — especially in areas where their habitats are being threatened.
“Violence is a natural part of life for chimpanzees,” Michael Wilson, the study’s lead researcher and an associate professor of anthropology at the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis, told Daily Mail.
“They don’t need to be fed bananas to kill each other.”
In Uganda, for example, chimps have been recorded attacking children, and even stealing and killing babies. They have also been recording ripping off human faces and genitals.
In 2011, 62-year-old Charla Nash had to receive a face transplant after her employer’s 200-pound pet chimpanzee literally ripped her face off.
To make matters worse, chimps are the only known species other than humans to plan attacks. On more than one occasion, chimpanzees have actually attacked groups of gorillas and managed to kill their young, so I guess gorillas seem like pretty chill guys now.
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