In my first term at university I decided to cook a sweet potato in the microwave. Having never used one before, I set the timer for 40 minutes and merrily went away. Some 20 minutes later the kitchen was filled with smoke and I emerged from my room to find everyone looking at me like I was an idiot.
Primary school teacher Sian Davies had a similar embarrassing experience. She turned up to university unable to use a washing machine and had to ask someone to show her what to do. She and other parents share the mistakes they made as a fresher and what they’re doing to make sure their children don’t repeat them.
‘Some things should cost more than £100’
Nicola Millington, director of FP Comms, says:
Work hard – but also look after yourself: In my third year, my flatmate rushed me to hospital because my chest was clamping up and I couldn’t breathe. The doctor thought it was because I’d become anxious about my dissertation and final exams.
When my son goes to university, I’ll tell him not to let work get blown out of proportion. If you don’t do well, your life doesn’t come to an end. There are lots of different measures of success. No matter how much you’ve got to do, you still need to take breaks.
Make sure that you eat well: I’ve told him that he needs to eat well when he’s up against it, rather than snacking on lots of sugary food, which he tends to do when under pressure.
Cheap is not always best: When I was at university my friend bought a car for £100. He thought it was a great deal until it unsurprisingly conked out on his way home and the engine blew up. He was unharmed, but as well as losing his car he lost all of his film equipment, which cost a lot of money.
He bought the car cheaply because he didn’t want to ask his parents for help, but in the end he had to anyway. As a student, you’re always on the hunt for a bargain, but sometimes there are items that should cost more than £100.
Keep your house tidy: Luckily we were a pretty tidy house at university, but I’m not sure my son will be. I’ll make sure he knows not to let his place get in too bad a state.
Don’t get tattoos or piercings that you will regret: I wanted a suzuki motorbike and a tattoo. But I know a couple of people who got drunken tattoos and now regret it. Leave the tattoo decision-making until a more sober moment.
Read the small print – especially when travelling: On a uni trip to Poland I fell in love with their vodka. I had no idea that there is a limit to what you can bring back to the UK, so I tried to bring back 20 bottles. When customs saw my stash they asked me who it belonged to. Thankfully my two friends didn’t drink, so I said it belonged to all three of us. By the skin of my teeth I got away with it. Read the small print, especially when travelling. People get arrested for bringing back the weirdest things.
‘Appreciate the time you have to try new things– and learn to use the washing machine’
Sian Davies, a primary school teacher in Oxford, says:
Learn to cook more than scrambled eggs: When I went to university my cooking repertoire barely extended beyond scrambling eggs, so I’ve made sure my son knows how to cook some basic meals. Giving him responsibility for cooking one family meal a week has been a good way to do this.
When he leaves, I’ll make sure he has all the kitchen utensils that seem trivial but are really handy. So as well as the usual pots and pans, I’ll send him off with a tin opener, grater and potato peeler.
Take advantage of the societies and clubs on offer: I joined the parachuting club and for £50 I got to jump out of an aeroplane. It was amazing. It’s only when you leave university that you realise how much is put on for you.
I didn’t use the facilities at my university that much and I wish I’d taken better advantage of everything I had access to. I think lots of people don’t appreciate the time you have to try new things. It’s only when you leave and begin working full-time that you realise what a luxury that is.
Know how to use a laundrette: I’d never used a laundrette before I went to university and I’m not sure if I’d even used a washing machine. I remember being in the laundrette thinking “I have no idea what to do here”, and having the embarrassing realisation that I was going to have to ask someone to show me.
‘Mix with people from different backgrounds’
Hitul Thobhani, co-author of Personal Development for Children and director of Empowering Kids and Youth, says:
Make an effort to meet people who you wouldn’t usually be friends with: I’ll make sure my daughters know what a great opportunity university is to connect with people from different backgrounds. I’m Asian by origin and growing up in Leicester I tended to have mainly Asian friends.
I wouldn’t have changed this for the world, but when I went to university I wanted to broaden my horizons. I avoided the Asian society and made an effort to meet people from other cultures and social backgrounds.
In my first year I was in a flat with a mix of people, including students from abroad, and it was fantastic. Part of the beauty of university is that it broadens your mindset.
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