Name: Renting.
Age: Ancient – the Romans had laws governing tenancy.
Appearance: Like existing, but with an extra layer of misery.
Come on, renting isn’t so bad. Yes it is. A recent survey of 2,000 renters aged 20 to 40 by the co-living brand Ark found that 74% had issues with it.
Of course, renting can be very expensive. It certainly can. These days the average monthly rent for a room – a room – is £683 nationwide, rising to £952 in London.
There must be some place where it’s still cheap to live on this blighted island. Less expensive maybe, but not cheap. A room in Hull will set you back £468 a month – that’s a rise of 14% on last year.
No wonder tenants are complaining. Yes, but the rent is not all they’re complaining about.
I expect the utility bills are also getting them down. True, energy prices have shot up, and 22% of respondents thought poor insulation was the main drawback to renting.
That makes sense. But the overwhelming majority of renters take issue with something else.
What’s that? Each other: 93% of those surveyed had noticed downsides to sharing space with flatmates.
Really? Don’t they like the company? Not as much as they hate cleaning up after others (54%), putting up with their noise (41%), or the way housemates waste energy (38%), steal food (29%) and spend too much time in the shower (24%).
How intolerant. I live with a bunch of people and I find them all to be considerate, tidy, respectful and easygoing. You know what they say: if you can’t name the annoying flatmate in your shared accommodation, then the annoying flatmate is you.
Is that why the rest of them stop talking when I come into the kitchen to eat yoghurt with crisps in it? Is it even your yoghurt?
I thought it was house yoghurt. Do the 20- to 40-year-old renters of today have nothing good to say about their flatmates? They admit they make renting more affordable.
Not just more affordable, but possible. True – living alone is a pipe dream for most tenants in 2023.
I would hate living alone, and having to clean stuff and buy my own food. Well, 32% also said they appreciated their flatmates’ support in difficult times.
That’s what I can provide: a shoulder to cry on. But you’re the reason everyone is crying.
Do say: “Renting is a nightmare, but hell is other people.”
Don’t say: “Sorry, were those your Coco Pops?”
