So what role was this for?
Photograph: PA
Robert de Niro, your mantle has been assumed. And more importantly, our faith has been justified. So it turns out that Britney battering the freak out of a photographer's car in February was not yet another step down the ladder of sanity by the utterly sane and reasonable singer. Hell no. She was method acting.
"I was preparing a character for a possible movie role where the husband doesn't play his part so they swap places. Unfortunately I didn't get the part. I'm sorry I got a little carried away with my role!" the Meryl Streep in waiting claims today.
My dear, no apologies necessary. De Niro stuffed his gob, you knocked around a bit of metal with an umbrella, the moonlight glinting off your bald head, the camera flashbulb sparking off your snarling teeth. Six of one, et cetera and so forth, but the world is just not ready yet for the levels of sophistication of your artistry. Quite why you needed such intense practice to play the part of a wife of a lazy loser is not wholly clear to us but, like we said, your artistry, our ignorance.
Tomorrow: Pete Doherty announces that this has all been preparation for his role as Renton in Trainspotting Two - the Bloated Years
