When it's dark, look for stars, the saying goes.
It's dark. Some of us feel mild coronavirus panic and some of us wonder if we should feel more than mild coronavirus panic and some of us are making fun of others of us for perfectly human reactions to a global outbreak whose final reach is yet to be determined but appears, by all measures, to be spreading rapidly.
I found some stars. They're unrelated to defeating this virus, but they remind us that fear and uncertainty don't have to strip us of our humanity. They can, in fact, reintroduce us to our humanity.
Time magazine published an equality issue this month. It's part of a three-year project with the estate of Martin Luther King Jr. to commemorate and reflect on the 1963 "I Have a Dream" speech and March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom.
It's a companion piece to The March, a virtual reality exhibit at the DuSable Museum of African American History that immerses viewers in that historic day. The exhibit is executive-produced by Viola Davis and scheduled to run through November.
Time editors wrote in an introduction to the equality issue: "'For every tortuous inch gained,' Time declared when Martin Luther King Jr. was named Person of the Year for 1963, 'there are miles of progress left to be covered.' That statement is no less true today."
Inside the issue are essays from U.S. Rep. John Lewis, actress and activist Janet Mock and author R. Eric Thomas, interviews with Equal Justice Initiative founder Bryan Stevenson and historian Henry Louis Gates Jr. and Time reporters on Flint's water crisis, housing vouchers, health care costs and more.
It's a fantastic dive into the ideas and issues that shape our nation in 2020, almost six decades after King's "I Have a Dream" speech.
There's also an essay by Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade about their daughter, Zaya. It contains some gems.
Zaya is transgender. She was born Zion, and Wade and Union have been vocal and lovely about her transition, which has occurred under the watchful, judgmental eye of the public, given the fame and following of Union, an actress and author, and Wade, a three-time NBA champion.
"There's an old-school mentality for parents, especially if you play basketball, that when your son is born, he's going to follow in your footsteps," the essay begins.
"When Zaya was born, we thought the same thing: let's give her a ball and see if she's into it," they continue. "But ever since she was about 3, we realized she wasn't. This summer, she told us she wanted to use she/her pronouns and that she wanted to go by Zaya. Zion was now her 'dead name' and should no longer be used."
Transgender youth have higher rates of suicidal ideation and attempts compared to cisgender youth, and research shows LGBTQ youth with even one accepting, supportive adult are 40% less likely to report a suicide attempt in the past year.
Wade and Union are showing us what that acceptance and support looks like.
They acknowledge that change _ Zaya's, and theirs _ didn't come easily.
"We projected our fears onto her," they write. "As black people, we know what we're facing. When you've seen the devil up close and you've seen what evil lurks out there, your instinct is to just say, 'Turn into me and you'll be O.K. I've made it this far.' But we're robbing our children of their identities and their most authentic selves. Sometimes the fiercest fight is against the person in the mirror and how you were raised."
I think that wisdom transcends our kids' questions around gender and sexuality and who they seek out and love. I think the best thing we can do for our kids is prepare and support them for the world they live in now, which expects and requires different things than the world we knew at their age. I think that means helping them find and listen to their own passions and pursuits and moral compass _ not ours.
"The biggest lesson we can offer is: listen to your child," Wade and Union wrote. "Do you actually know your child, or are you just committed to forcing your child to conform to these impossible standards? You can't one-size-fits-all your parenting. A lot of people are now wondering who they could have been, had their parents supported who they are.
"Identity isn't a desire or a wish: it's more a matter of our understanding and making the necessary adjustments to ensure someone is celebrated for being their authentic and true selves," they write. "We love our child and would do anything to make sure she has the best possibilities to succeed in life, to have happiness and joy. We see that in Zaya. We see joy in her. And that makes us feel so amazing."
Stars. Guiding our way.
