"Mnokey" is delighted to treat you to one of Daily Telegraph associate editor Simon Heffer's regular email missives berating journalists at the title for their spelling, style and grammatical errors. Mnokey implores you to read the following quotes in the appropriately reverential tone as you picture Heffer huffing, puffing and tutting - irascibly, no doubt - as he trawls the paper each day for clangers such as "hocky mom", "plumb compote" and the invented word "adaption".
"One reader, having spotted the words 'Chrsitmas' and 'adminsitration' in the same story wondered whether our newsroom was now being run by "mnokeys"," he wrote, imploring journalists to read the Telegraph style book.
But far more precious than the typos and the butter-fingered typing are those precious Telegraph values: "The style book also reminds us that our readers tend to eat Christmas lunch, not Christmas dinner; this is not the Daily Star."
And fictional characters must have the correct titles: "An article on the new film Australia this week referred to the heroine as being first Lady Sarah Ashley and then Lady Ashley. She cannot be both. In the film she is the daughter of an earl, and therefore the first style is correct. Talking of names, if we have in future to refer to Nicholas Hoogstraten it will be thus; the 'van' is an affectation (this is known to some as the 'Fayed rule')." Hoogstraten is, alas, not fictional.
But does the Hoogmeister have Christmas dinner or Christmas lunch? And is the Heff invited?
