Visa refused ... could your lack of English stop you getting a UK tourist visa? Photograph: Corbis
A report into how British visas are given out has revealed some remarkable failings. Although generally satisfied that most UK embassies deal with people fairly, the independent monitor of UK visas (the government body that deals with visas), Linda Costelloe Baker, found some very unsatisfactory examples of when it has all gone wrong.
Ms Costelloe Baker - a woman who comes across as eminently reasonable - visited visa-issuing offices in eight countries in 2006 and uncovered these "ridiculous reasons" for refusal:
"You wish to go to the UK for a holiday. You have never previously undertaken any foreign travel before and I can see little reason for this trip". A "common reason for refusal," Ms Costelloe Baker points out, adding that of course there is a "first time for everyone" to go on holiday.
"You do not have a sufficient command of the language." Well, she says, "that would certainly stop lots of British citizens going on their hols."
"You plan a holiday for no particular purpose other than sightseeing for the purposes of tourism." But, maintains Ms Costelloe Baker, "that's what the UK is famous for, sights worth seeing".
As well as odd reasons for refusing visas, Ms Costelloe Baker found even odder uses of the English language. Despite calling for more plain English in her previous report, many visa officials haven't yet got the message:
"This letter is not endowed with any evidential value and in lieu of credible corroborating evidence I am not satisfied that you are employed as claimed generating the remuneration claimed by you." (In other words, this letter's dodgy and I don't think you've got a job.)
"This leads me to doubt the veracity of your assertions." (I think you're lying.)
And
"I can only assess your mutual knowledge in a subjective context." (Who knows?)
Things could get better if there was more communication she says. But a website project designed to streamline the visa-issuing process is delayed until mid 2008. And leaflets explaining how to apply for a visa were found packed in boxes holding embassy doors open, or not displayed because "there is no rack to display them".
Stroppy visa officials still exist then and the process can be fraught - as if we didn't know. Almost everyone who's travelled has a visa horror story. What's yours?
