Haute couture fashion shows in Paris

Feline-inspired eyeliner at the Chanel show Photograph: Thibault Camus/AP

Hats are less practical than they were in Coco's day Photograph: Francois Guillot/AFP/Getty Images

Can't decide which bracelet to wear? Chuck them all on, add knuckledusters, and call it the Lagerfeld look Photograph: Francois Guillot/AFP/Getty Images

Perhaps the most hideous harem pants we've seen so far (and that's saying something) sashaying down the Givenchy runway Photograph: Francois Guillot/AFP/Getty Images

The Givenchy vice was ... multicultural. We think this particular outfit is Egyptian Photograph: Dominique Charriau/WireImage.com

Christian Lacroix pulled out all the stops in what may be his last show Photograph: Jacques Brinon/AP

Hats were bountiful ... Photograph: Pierre Verdy/AFP/Getty Images

... and silhouettes made a statement Photograph: Jacques Brinon/Associated Press

Alexandre Morgado and Matthieu Bureau lower the tone Photograph: Francois Guillot/AFP/Getty Images

Wow. What we wouldn't give for a hat like this Photograph: MAXPPP/TG/EPA

Nice use of electric blue tiger print at Armani Photograph: Patrick Kovarik/AFP/Getty Images

Another ring-cum-knuckleduster! Have we spotted a trend? Photograph: Pascal Rossignol/Reuters

A showstopping red creation by Cengiz Abazoglu Photograph: Lucas Dolega/EPA

Never mind the stockings and suspenders - it's Marion Cotillard in the background! Photograph: Eric Ryan/Getty Images

John Galliano forgets to include tops in his collection for Christian Dior Photograph: Eric Ryan/Getty Images

A lovely shot of a beautiful dress by the Lebanese designer Georges Hobeika Photograph: Thibault Camus/AP

An understated dress by the much-tipped big new thing, Alexis Mabille Photograph: Antonio de Moraes Barros Filho/WireImage.com

Francois Eymeric has been watching too many Alien films, we reckon Photograph: Thibault Camus/AP