My 2019 season has now come to a close. I’ve just returned home from the World Championships where I managed my best ever finish, coming home in ninth place and winning a silver medal with the team.
It’s been an absolute whirlwind of a year with lots of highs as well as painstaking lows.
I think one of the most difficult parts of being an athlete is managing all the emotions which come with sport. From pure elation when it comes together to competition nerves and the heartbreak of injury or illness.
Recently I competed at the European Championships which were held in Bath. This was the first time I had ever competed at a major event on home soil and also my first continental qualifier for the Olympic Games with the top eight individuals securing a place.
From not wanting to let myself and my family down, to knowing it was an opportunity to get an Olympic qualification spot which has always been my dream, the pressure was on. There was also a lot of media coverage around the competition and loads of friends and supporters watching live and all backing the Brits.
During qualification I let the nerves get the better of me and struggled during the fence. Luckily the rest of the competition made up for my poor fence and I managed to make it into the final where I’d be competing against the top 36 athletes in Europe who would all be battling for the top eight positions.
Finals day was tough but I told myself to enjoy it and soak as much of the atmosphere up as I could. I managed to hold my composure and start the day much better than qualifications.
The ride, however, was when the nerves started to kick in. By complete chance I drew my favourite horse from training (with the competition being held in Britain a few of the horses we ride in training were being used in the horse draw).
To begin with I was happy about this but as the clock ticked towards warm up, my anxiety grew.
I knew I had an opportunity and I was terrified to throw it away as I had done in previous competitions this year. The course was also very technical and was catching a lot of athletes out.
Luckily I managed to get round with only one knock down and a few time penalties to move up into 14th position with just the laser run, my strongest discipline, to come.
I loved the final event and the atmosphere and crowds were amazing. I struggled a little with the first couple of shoots but managed to find my rhythm and get into it towards the end and I was delighted to move up 10 places to finish 4th and help secure GB the team gold.
Although I finished within the top eight, there was only one spot available per nation and my team-mate, Kate, won the silver medal so was given that spot.
