How is Donald Trump still alive? Seriously, it defies science. The man reportedly drinks 12 Diet Cokes a day, appears to exist purely on Big Macs and doesn’t do any exercise because he thinks the human body is like a battery and working out depletes it. On top of all this, it turns out the 73-year-old is popping pills with potentially fatal side-effects for reasons that make no medical sense.
We learned on Monday that the president has been taking the malaria drug hydroxychloroquine to ward off Covid-19. This goes against the advice of his own government. After Trump repeatedly championed the drug as a “gamechanger”, the Food and Drug Administration stressed that it hasn’t been shown to work as a coronavirus treatment or preventive and should only be administered in hospital or research settings due to the risk of potential heart problems. As Nancy Pelosi bluntly noted, taking unapproved drugs is particularly dangerous for people in Trump’s “age group and his, shall we say, weight group”.
But what do the experts know, eh? Trump told reporters that he has been taking the drug for about a week and a half and: “I’m still here to explain to you.” We noticed, thank you.
Trump’s hydroxychloroquine regime makes you wonder whether the self-described germaphobe has been trying out some of his other dodgy medical advice. He claims his widely ridiculed comments about the restorative powers of disinfectant were sarcasm, but has he actually been spending his evenings injecting bleach in front of Fox News? It would explain a lot. Then you have Trump’s suggestion that experts should look into exposing the human body to heat and light as a potential treatment. Has he been quietly trying to fry away any potential exposure to the virus? It would explain his unusual orange hue.
To be fair, Trump has been very clear in press briefings that he’s “not a doctor … [just] a person that has a good you-know-what”. And you know what? If he wants to turn himself into a human guinea pig, I fully support it.
