One of the questions Lost in Showbiz is most often asked is: do all celebrities know each other? The answer, of course, is yes. And, with the odd exception, Elton John is godfather to all their children. He also organises all interventions. Gordon Ramsay does the cooking (except at the interventions, where they send out for Mr Chow).
It’s like Karen says in GoodFellas: “We always did everything together and we always were in the same crowd. Anniversaries, christenings. We only went to each other’s houses. … And when we went to the Islands or Vegas to vacation, we always went together. No outsiders, ever. It got to be normal.”
Swiftly, then, to the 21st-birthday celebrations of One Direction’s Harry Styles, which were held in the city of Los Angeles at the weekend. They attracted people known to be Harry’s friends – your Alexa Chungs, your Kelly Osbournes, your second-tier Kardashians – as well as a whole host of people known to be celebrities: your David Beckhams, your Chris Martins, your James Cordens, your Tom Morellos out of Audioslave and Rage Against the Machine (raging at it from within it that night, presumably), your Courteney Coxes, your Cindy Crawfords. Even that weirdo blogger whom Tulisa was found to have punched last year (“The reasons, we understand,” remarked a judge) was there. I imagine Elton sent his apologies.
In fact, given the reports that Harry FaceTimed his mother so she could watch him blow out his candles, the only omissions I could make out were Simon Cowell, Salman Rushdie, Stephen Hawking, and Bono – who presumably have their monthly movie club on that night, and were ensconced round Simon’s watching The Sorrow and the Pity. Don’t even countenance the idea that Bono wasn’t invited, because such a snub would surely have prompted him to cast a spell putting all of us to sleep for 100 years.
Thus the notices for Harry’s party were suitably admiring: “Harry Styles’s 21st birthday was the most A-list event,” panted Grazia. “Now THAT’S a party!” judged the Daily Mail. “EVERYONE rocked up,” ruled the Mirror.
Well, quite. In fact, so comprehensive and exaltable is the social circle of the One Direction star that I wonder whether that GoodFellas quote really does Harry Styles the justice he deserves. On reflection, we’ll ditch it in favour of something Clive James wrote of Stefan Zweig. “Everyone who mattered in the European cultural world knew [him]. It was one of his gifts. He believed in the sociability of the civilised.”
Let us believe in the sociability of the celebrified, and accept that old friends are nothing more than a civilian affectation.
