WARNING: THIS REVIEW MAY BREAK THE HEARTS OF HARRY POTTER FANS EVERYWHERE (but that is not the intention)
DISCLAIMER: THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS (though pretty much everyone I have met that is my age has already read these books)
Now, with all the admin out the way, let's get on with this review…
The Harry Potter series. "You have to read it" everyone at school said "You are missing out". On what I was missing out on, however, was never actually specified.
I would have summarised each book individually, but all of the stories merged into one, making it virtually impossible to specify what happened when. Some may consider this to be a positive to the series, but I personally do not, as I cannot recall the details of each installment.
However, I have attempted:
The Philosopher's Stone - the best book by far (it's a new concept, the excitement of the wizarding world is opened up to us and there are a couple of suggestions for Royal Mail to consider when delivering the post).
The Chamber of Secrets - I liked it at the time, but can't remember why (not a good sign).
The Prisoner of Azkaban – ditto (one word that sums up 300 odd pages).
The Goblet of Fire - almost enjoyable, but I don't know how some of the chapters got through their auditions.
The Order of the Phoenix - slightly boring; some chapters (Mrs Weasley's Woes, for example) were not needed and just hindered the story.
The Half-Blood Prince (I had to Google the name of the sixth book as it had escaped my normally good memory) - I can barely remember the storyline other than a 'hugely dramatic' ending that went on a bit.
The Deathly Hallows - just plain confusing and, like the fifth book, much of the story is superfluous.
I carried on reading this series in the hope that the next book would be better, or that Voldemort would discover some form of plastic surgery which gives him a way to get a proper nose. (Saying that, the pearly white skin would be something else to stop him from going incognito). Despite all of the negatives I have undoubtedly highlighted, there were positives.
The first chapter of the fourth book was the best in the series and one of the best openers I have read in a long while, and I have been known to get through a novel a day. May I just mention that the only reference to the actual Harry Potter in the 20 or so pages of the chapter is in the last sentence. The description given to Mad-Eye Moody – "it [his face] looked as though it had been carved out of weathered wood by someone who had only the vaguest idea of what human faces should look like, and was none too skilled with a chisel" – is absolutely brilliant.
The fact that the Strictly Come Dancing results show is on tonight and the tension is almost unbearable! – oh, sorry, got sidetracked (easily done with these books).
I have been lent the Latin edition of The Philosopher's Stone and for all you fact hunters out there, it turns out that the Hogwarts Express is the Hamaxostichus Rapidus Hogvartensis and I am not making that up! So, there you have it - my view on the Harry Potter series. Thank you for reading.
And I only have one request: please, no one be angry with me. I am just casting my lumos charm on the Forbidden Forest of my opinions. They have now been unearthed, discovered and voiced.
Nox.
• Buy this book at the Guardian Bookshop.
Want to tell the world about a book you've read? Join the site and send us your review!
