Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

...the evil Bellatrix Lestrange, played by Helena Bonham Carter, who has escaped the wizard prison Azkaban and is on the loose? Nope, she's nothing in comparison to this threat. Is it... Photograph: Public domain

...Kreacher the house elf, who maintains an unhealthy allegiance to the Dark Arts despite being in the employ of Harry's Godfather, Sirius Black? Nope, his horrors pale into insignificance compared to this torment. So is it... Photograph: Public domain

...the skeletal horsey weird things known as thestrals, seen here being ogled by Harry and new character Luna Lovegood? No, they're a trot in the paddock when compared to the ultimate nemesis. Ok, then it must be... Photograph: Public domain

...the cringe-inducing new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, Dolores Umbridge (Imelda Staunton), who bans students at Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry from practising spells, resulting in Harry and co setting up their own... Photograph: Public domain

...secret club to practice defence magic. No, wrong again. So what could possibly be... Photograph: Public domain

...scaring poor Harry so badly? Ah, of course, it must be... Photograph: Public domain

...the evil Lord Voldemort, aka He Who Must Not Be Named, aka Ralph Fiennes earning a fortune for three minutes in a silly mask. Well, no actually. For in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, our hero has to deal with the ultimate torment. Yes it's... Photograph: Public domain

...a girl! Namely Cho Chang, who falls for him after signing up to the aforementioned magical defence group. Ah well, it could be worse. At least Harry doesn't have to snog... Photograph: Public domain