If Travis Head ever decides scoring 600 runs in a series is too easy to keep him engaged, the after-dinner speaking circuit will be quick to get him on the phone.
After plundering another 163 runs against an increasingly hapless England on Tuesday, Head kept the entertainment rolling in the post-play press conference.
When asked why he takes the least possible effort to run his multitude of easy singles, the opener suggested his minimalist approach to running is designed to rile up his teammates.
"Walking singles and running backwards and carrying on is more just to get a rev up out of our boys," Head said.
"Slapping one to point and walking, there's no point in trying to charge around for two - unless you're with Marnus."
Shifting Head from the top of the order now seems impossible, though the left-hander admitted even he didn't expect the success to come this quickly.
Head's curious record of being dismissed seven times between 150 and 175 with no double hundreds was also raised, but the affable South Australian jokingly dismissed the anomaly as a "shit stat".
"Much rather 160 or 170 than zero to 10 ... pegs up and watch the boys go about it," he said.
The first Australian opener to score three centuries in an Ashes series in more than 20 years said he was happy to have taken himself into the consistent run-scoring territory often occupied by his teammates.
"It might be 600 runs now (for the series), that's normally Smithy or Marnus," Head said.
"I normally put the cherry on top and come in at the back end.
"Nice to be able to pull my finger out and help on the other side."
Helping Australia post a 134-run lead alongside fellow centurion Steve Smith kept Head in a buoyant mood, with even critique of his dismissal coming with a slight shrug.
"I felt like if I got to the new ball I could have a little bit more fun, so probably a bit disappointed," he said.
"But look, could have got a duck, so I'll take it."
