A “happy-go-lucky” boxer who turned to binge drinking to cope with his mental health problems tragically took his own life just weeks after his mother’s funeral.
Barry Yates, 42, who was known to many of his friends as Baz, died earlier this year in his home in Bardsey on the outskirts of Leeds.
For the past 10 years Barry had suffered from heavy bouts of depression and according to one of his best friends, he would go through spells of being teetotal and dedicated to his fitness before hitting the bottle for weeks on end.
Alan Archer, who knew Barry for 30 years, said: “He seemed to do a cycle so he would get into his fitness, be in the gym and he was a physically strong lad.
“He wouldn’t even eat a bag of crisps but then he would go full circle and he would start drinking and he’d drink for two months solid.
“This was probably how it was for the last 10 years of his life and as soon as he had a drink he would go completely the other way.”
One tragedy followed by another
Prior to his death, Barry had managed to cut out the booze completely but his world was rocked when his mum Pat died after suffering from Parkinson’s disease.
After this, Alan said his friend began drinking “constantly” and just weeks after she died he ended up taking his own life.
Describing the moment he found out, Alan, who is 50, said: “It was horrendous and I just couldn’t believe it.
“Everybody knows everybody in the area where we live and I got a phone call to say that a body bag had been taken out of Barry’s house.
“We initially thought it was his dad as he was heartbroken after Pat’s death but it turned out it was Barry.
“He would drink himself bad and one time he drank himself that bad they thought he would die in hospital.
“He had threatened suicide and it was a bit like the boy who cried wolf I’m ashamed to say. You got a bit fed up of going and finding him drunk.
“I saw him a few times after his mum passed away but it just got to the point where you knew he’d be on a bender and if you went down to his you wouldn’t get much change out of him.
“You would get a lot of abuse and he would ask you to buy him cans.
“Obviously you think ‘could we have helped’? You beat yourself up a bit and ask ‘should we have got more involved’? It’s just a sad story.”
A boxer, gardener and father figure
Barry, who was a landscape gardener by trade, used to train at St Patrick's Amateur Boxing Club in Leeds and went mink hunting with hounds.
He also had a partner called Nicola who suffered from Huntington’s disease and acted as a father figure to her son Harry.
Alan has endured his own mental health battles from adolescence and had unfortunately already experienced the traumatic effects of suicide prior to Barry’s death.
He said: “There’s a lot of it about - I lost my cousin to mental health problems. He hung himself and I lost a friend who was 29.
“I’ve also suffered with mental health problems in my lifetime. I’ve had depression and I did speak to Barry about it.
“Men’s mental health is a massive problem right now and the statistics speak for themselves. “There are more men dying from suicide than cancer in one particular age group and that says it all really.
“I’ve lost friends and family to mental health problems and my dad tried to commit suicide one time.
“I’ve had issues since being 18 and I’ve had periods where I’ve been on antidepressants so I know how it feels.”
'You can’t see mental health'
Suicide is still the most common cause of death for men aged between 20 and 49 in the UK and Barry’s friends and family are determined to use his story to encourage other men struggling with their mental health to speak out.
A fundraising walk across Cleveland Way in North Yorkshire is being arranged to raise money for the Samaritans, with the walk set to be in Barry’s memory.
There are plans to make it an annual event and Alan says they are working with We Care Leeds to raise more funds in memory of Barry.
Remembering Barry, Alan said: “He was just a happy-go-lucky character. He was a good looking lad and good fun to be around.
“He liked his sports and he was good company and a good lad to be around. My kids grew up with him and they loved him. They were heartbroken and he was great with them.
“It’s more heartbreaking when somebody takes their own life because you never really understand and there is never a proper conclusion.
"If he had spoken to somebody and he had found a way of getting through this stage of his life, maybe he would have gone onto bigger and better things and had his own kids but we will never see that so it’s frustrating.
“On pictures on Facebook you would think he was the happiest kid in the world but you can’t see mental health. You can see a broken leg but not mental health.”
A fundraiser set up by Alan’s daughter on behalf of Barry’s brother Chris has since amassed more than £9,000 with some funds going towards Barry’s funeral. You can donate by clicking here.
