Fish gape
Newly coined this one, it’s all about sucking in your cheeks, pouting and parting your lips like you’re a small mackerel gasping for air. If it helps, imagine a small fishhook is stuck in the roof of your mouth and you’re in a great deal of pain.
Squinch
A mash-up of squint and pinch, this one’s all about the dramatic eyes. You might look angry, but on the plus side you also look 18 times more confident than you actually are.
Kontour face
Kim’s make up has spawned thousands of copycats. This pose is all about showing off your contour lines, specifically bronzer and highlighter. Pretending to be natural isn’t needed here. It’s actually a flattering angle for most people and a way to fake cheekbones.
Duck face
The key here is to pout, turning your lips into a duck’s bill, while somehow not looking stupid. This pose has been ridiculed endlessly, but there are subtle ways to do it and it’s a bonafide classic.
Fake Casual
When you’ve run out of selfie poses, you get your mate to take a photo of you. Duck faces don’t work here – trying too much in a photo that isn’t a selfie can be regarded as immodest. The solution is to contort your face to flatter you, but still remain casual. The hair touching screams “hehe, don’t mind me, just loving life” but the ring screams “LOOK AT THE ROCK ON MY FINGER. JUST LOOK AT IT. DREAM ON”.
