BIG ACHIEVEMENT
Nobody has retained Big Cup since Milan in 1990. This state of affairs is usually held up as evidence of how much harder it is to win Europe’s premier pot in the modern era. After all, you couldn’t triumph these days simply by beating Östers Idrottsförening, Argeș Pitești, Berliner Dynamo, a declining Ajax and a Hamburg side whose star striker was dreaming of his big-money move to Southampton, as Nottingham Forest did when they kept hold of old big ears in 1980. Mind you, to be scrupulously fair, Forest only had the opportunity to do that by winning a 42-game league in the first place, then their first Big Cup, all the while knowing that one slip would bring an abrupt and terminal halt to their almost-certainly-never-to-be-repeated adventure, as opposed to swanning around in the knowledge that whatever happens you’ll be guaranteed another go next year, and the one after that, and the one after that. But no, it was apparently a doddle in the old days. There’s no talking to some people, so let’s just go with that.
But now Real Madrid have a great chance of bucking this recent trend. Despite the dice being outrageously loaded against them, plucky Real, who were last champions of their domestic league a mere five years ago, will become the first team to win consecutive Big Cups in Preposterously Difficult Era should they hold on to their three-goal semi-final first-leg advantage over neighbours Atlético on Wednesday night, then go on to triumph in Cardiff over Juventus, for whom losing Big Cup finals is not so much a habit, more a way of life. “Two years ago everyone thought it was my last final, but you have to believe in your dreams,” says 39-year-old Juve keeper Gigi Buffon, who came close in 2003 and 2015 and deserves credit for both the 600-minute run without conceding a Big Cup goal finally ended by Monaco’s Kylian Mbappé on Tuesday, and for keeping his hopes up despite knowing full well how Juve usually roll on the big occasion.
It’s very much on for Real, then. Stage one of Onerous Modern Task should be completed easily enough at the Vicente Calderón. Atlético’s hopes of turning the semi-final round are not high: no team has overturned even a two-goal first-leg loss at this stage, and should Real score, something they’ve managed to do in each of their last 60 matches, Diego Simeone’s side will require at least five goals to progress. “We can’t go crazy, we need to keep a clean sheet,” shuddered Atlético midfielder Saúl Ñíguez, who admits the job facing his side is “very difficult”. Real versus Juve at the Millennium Stadium it is, then, and a chance for the Spanish giants to redraw the contemporary landscape. Good luck to them, and all, it’d be a great achievement to witness, though The Fiver hankers after the golden age of Östers Idrottsförening, and we’re pretty sure we’re not the only ones saying that.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
“I’m personally desperate to get to the final and to try and win it. That’s the only thing that matters … There’s nothing else that matters” – Michael Carrick on the Big Vase final. He could take it or leave it.
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NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
The funeral of Ugo Ehiogu, who died last month aged 44, has taken place in London. A fundraising page set up in memory of the former England international has now raised more than £23,000.
Fifa congress week is going well: Gianni “The Donald” Infantino launching his new ethics-first era in Bahrain by ousting Fifa’s ethics heads. Swiss prosecutor Cornel Borbély says they were working on “hundreds of cases”, which will now be stalled for years.
In related news, Fifa says an inquiry is ongoing into the multi-million payments involved in Paul Pogba’s €100m move to Manchester United from Juventus last summer.
Don’t ask Arsène Wenger what a director of football does. He won’t like it. Oh … too late. “I don’t know what it means,” he honked. “Is it somebody who stands in the road and directs play right and left? I don’t understand. I never did understand. I will not talk about it.”
’Arry Redknapp isn’t at Birmingham for the money, so talks over his new one-year deal should be swift, then.
Everton’s Romelu Lukaku has thanked Ronald Koeman for “taking me to the next level”, and presumably will show his gratitude by doing one. “I want to thank the manager for pushing me,” he parped, “even though sometimes I’m not an easy guy.”
Hanson’s Kylian Mbappé says he “enjoyed rubbing shoulders with the best” after Monaco’s Big Cup semi defeat to Juventus. “We came fully armed and wanted to make it difficult for them,” he tooted. “My goal was useless. But no regrets.”
And Chinese officials have played down talk of Shanghai striker Hulk lamping Guizhou Zhicheng assistant Yu Ming. “There was a minor argument,” cooed Chinese Super League vice director Li Lipeng. “There was an understandable desire to win the match.”
STILL WANT MORE?
After brushing aside Lyon in the Big Vase semi-final first leg, Ajax are sniffing a first European trophy in 22 years. Jacob Steinberg goes to Amsterdam.
Good news, Hull fans! It’s Big Website’s third annual index of ineptitude, a right Premier League hagiography of half-ar$edness, and the Tigers are riding high.
Bristol City owner Steve Lansdown turned up the chance to push Lee Johnson through the door marked Do One in March, and it paid off. Stuart James meets them.
Which team’s ground is the furthest from their town or city centre? And what’s the shortest time that has elapsed between home and away league fixtures being played between two professional teams during a season? The Knowledge is in its element.
And Roman Abramovich is ready to fix a big Chelsea problem by hosing money at it. The Rumour Mill has more.
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