I wrote a book and for the launch I asked the stylist to turn me into Josephine Baker. In a puff of smoke a miracle hair product appeared. I didn’t know a book launch was usually some wine in a room above a pub: mine involved a new hairstyle, a yellow open-top bus, hula hoopers, rainbow sequins, doughnuts and a Spice Girl.
I spent my advance on that bus and took it on a book tour of schools and festivals, talking to people about heartbreak, shame, mental health and careers.
I’ll never forget the launch, though, when the gloop in my barnet was as strong as my determination and acted like a kung-fu kick through imposter syndrome. The gloop in question? It’s by Moco De Gorila, who actually make… glue. Like glue, glue. But their hair range is banging. It holds through the wild times and doesn’t look greasy.
It’s not just for Afro hair. I’ve seen the greatest low-ponytailed looks achieved in a matter of seconds, and exquisite early 90s Sharon Stone sleekness all from a squirt of the yellow, slimy stuff. And it’s called ‘gorilla snot gel’.
Follow Gemma on Twitter @gemcairn
