In a bizarre twist in the ongoing fallout from *that* Coldplay kiss cam moment, Gwyneth Paltrow has appeared in a video shared by Astronomer, the tech company both Andy Byron and Kristen Cabot previously worked for.
ICYMI, Byron and Cabot — who served as the CEO and CPO of Astronomer respectively — recently announced their resignations in the wake of being caught in an affair on the Jumbotron of a Coldplay concert in Massachusetts earlier this month.
While their respective resignations might’ve put the kibosh on the entire saga (which seemingly has no end) Paltrow — the ex-wife of Coldplay frontman Chris Martin — has now entered the chat, proving that this is a story that keeps on giving.
As for why Paltrow has entered the fray, well, it appears to be a genius marketing by Astronomer, who enlisted her as “Temporary Spokesperson” to field questions about the scandal “on behalf of the 300 plus employees at Astronomer”, she said in the clip.
The video was shared by the company’s official LinkedIn page, and in a cheeky twist, it sees Paltrow plug Astronomer’s products and business events instead of answering the burning questions that flash across the screen.
“Q: OMG! What the actual f — ,” the text begins, before abruptly cutting off just as Paltrow reappears on screen.
“Yes! Astronomer is the best place to run Apache Airflow,” she responds, ignoring the question and sarcastically adding that she is “thrilled to see so many people suddenly interested in data workflow automation”.
It’s a savvy move on Astronomer’s part, not least because, amid the PR crisis, almost no attention has been paid to what the company actually does.
That Paltrow, peripherally connected to the scandal via Martin, can appear with a knowing smile and say the words “workflow automation” is the cherry on top of this mess cake.
The second question begins by asking “how is your social media team holding — ”, but again stops short as Paltrow chimes in with a totally unrelated mention of Astronomer’s “Beyond Analytics event this September”.
I haven’t the faintest idea what “Apache Airflow” is, but I’m now inclined to book tickets to this virtual event.
Towards the end of the clip, Paltrow said on behalf of Astronomer that “we will now be returning to what we do best: delivering game-changing results for our customers”.
“Thank you for your interest in Astronomer,” she concluded.
Naturally, since this is probably the most action LinkedIn has ever received in its lifetime, the reactions were plentiful and passionate, with thousands of likes and hundreds of comments.
That is spectacularly viral by LinkedIn standards.
Paltrow joining the fray is the latest development in a story that will no-doubt be snapped up by Ryan Murphy for a Netflix telemovie.
Earlier this week, Astronomer’s interim CEO Pete DeJoy shared a statement describing the ordeal as “unusual and surreal” and before that, a new angle of the Coldplay concert showed Martin appearing to regret his decision to project Byron and Cabot on the big screen.
Elsewhere, Byron’s wife Megan — with whom he shares two children — was caught dropping the surname from her Facebook page, and the third person caught on the Jumbotron was confirmed to be misidentified by internet sleuths.
With Paltrow’s latest contribution, perhaps this whole fiasco might finally die down… well, at least until Sarah Paulson earns an Emmy for her portrayal of Cabot.
Lead images: LinkedIn an TikTok
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