Visiting the home you grew up in as an adult can be a strange experience. You’re thrilled to see your parents and visit your old stomping grounds, but so many things have changed. Your childhood bedroom might have been turned into a gym or a storage closet, and Mom and Dad don’t keep the fridge full of your favorite snacks anymore.
One father recently learned how upsetting it can be to not have a designated room to sleep in after his daughter and her fiancé came for a weekend trip. Instead of giving them the guest bedroom, he thought they could set up camp in the office. But they were not fans of that idea… Below, you’ll find the full story, as well as some of the replies readers left.
This father has turned his home’s guest bedroom into a studio for his hobby
Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)
But when his daughter and her fiancé came to visit, they were not happy about the sleeping arrangement
Image credits: EyeEm (not the actual image)
Image credits: Naomi Hébert (not the actual image)
Image credits: LoveAndHappiness75
It’s important for empty nesters to have creative outlets and healthy places to channel their energy
There’s no doubt that it can be strange to visit the house you grew up in and no longer feel like it’s your home. You spent years baking cookies in that kitchen, sneaking out of your bedroom window after Mom and Dad fell asleep and giggling with friends in the basement during sleepovers. But now, there’s nowhere for you to sleep, and your parents’ hobbies have invaded any space that was previously yours.
This might be jarring at first, but it’s important to consider what your parents are going through as well. Empty nest syndrome can hit moms and dads harder than they expect. And according to Dr. Rachel Glik, they might begin to feel sad, lonely and even depressed after their kids move out.
It’s not uncommon for parents to feel meaningless or like they lack purpose when they become empty nesters, which can lead to anxiety and a loss of control. Relationship issues might even arise, as the couple might be coping differently. Or they simply might not be used to spending so much one-on-one time together.
Parents may begin to feel regret if they wish they had spent more time with their children before they moved out, and their self-worth might begin to diminish. Because of this, it’s crucial for moms and dads to focus on their mental health during this time.
They should learn how to rediscover themselves and make sure that they’re properly taking care of their health. This might be the perfect time to form a better relationship with their kids by keeping in contact regularly, even though they live apart. Or the couple may want to make time to focus on their marriage and intimacy.
Feeling fulfilled is also key for empty nesters. Finding new hobbies such as knitting, gardening, playing tennis or painting miniature models can be a great way to spend their time.
Adult children often find themselves feuding with parents when they return home, no matter how old they are
As for the children of empty nesters, try to empathize with your mother and father when you visit them. But keep in mind, this may be especially difficult considering how most of us tend to regress when we show up on Mom and Dad’s doorstep.
You know how it goes: you’re an adult living on your own, working a full-time job and supporting yourself financially 100%. Then, you go stay with your parents for the holidays, and suddenly, you feel like you’re 15-years-old all over again. Their cheesy jokes annoy you, you don’t want to wash your dishes, and you’re suddenly expected to update Mom and Dad on your location at all times.
This regression is so common that Elle Hunt wrote a piece for The Guardian investigating it. She notes that no matter how old we get, most of us can’t help but feel like children around our parents, which means we often fall back into old patterns.
This might come from being in the environment where you were raised, or it may stem from how your parents treat you. Satya Doyle Byock, psychotherapist and author of Quarterlife: The Search for Self in Early Adulthood, points out that when we move out, we often go on a journey of personal growth and “becoming oneself.”
Returning back home, however, can make it feel like all of that progress has been erased. You’re right back where you started. “It’s not only incredibly frustrating – it can be very depleting, very quickly,” Byock told The Guardian.
Now, when it comes to this specific situation on Reddit, readers were torn about whether or not the father was in the wrong. But it’s possible that both he and his daughter were struggling with the different places they’re both at in life, and they just couldn’t get on the same page.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this dad did anything wrong by refusing to give his daughter the guest room? Then, you can find another Bored Panda article discussing similar family drama right here.
Some readers wanted more information before they decided if the father was in the wrong
But some had heard enough, noting that the dad he should have been more accommodating
And others took the father’s side, noting that it’s his house, so he gets to make the rules
