Breakups are already tricky enough to deal with. You’re parting ways with someone you’ve emotionally invested in, and in some cases, it may take a while before you can bounce back.
What can complicate these situations further is if the couple was living together. This was what a woman went through after breaking up with her live-in boyfriend. Upon realizing she may end up homeless, she tried to get back with him and “work things out.”
The man, however, thought it was only fair to kick out his former partner, who ultimately broke his heart. Read the entire story below, along with the short conversations we had with a few experts.
Breakups become more complicated if the couple had been living together
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This couple had been living together for two years, until things got problematic one day
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The woman ended up calling for a break-up, resulting in her getting kicked out of her ex-boyfriend’s home
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She tried to come back to him to work things out, but he believes he should stand his ground
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There is an upside to continuing to live together after a breakup
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There are obvious drawbacks to continuing to live together after a breakup. As licensed mental health counselor Jennifer Vincent, LMHC, CSAYC, tells Bored Panda, it can blur emotional lines and prolong the healing process.
As she pointed out, resentment can build quickly, especially if one partner continues to hold on to the hope of getting back together while the other is emotionally checked out.
However, there are upsides, too, albeit short-term. According to Garry Greenberg, Esq., founder of The Smart Law Group and a veteran divorce lawyer, it can help the couple address their issues, especially if they aren’t yet married. It can also provide financial assistance.
In the story’s case, the woman would be left in a financial bind if she were to move out. And given that the couple had been together for years, should the man feel obligated to help his former partner?
“No, the end of the relationship should end any responsibility of any kind,” said Greenberg, who has 40 years of experience under his belt.
“Otherwise, the partner in ‘dire straits’ is going to use that guilt to hold the other partner in a relationship that is ended. This is not healthy for either partner.”
You can always support a former partner, but not at the expense of your inner peace
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Despite the breakup, the author seems to still care for his former partner. He said it himself: “I don’t want to see her crash and burn.” However, his apprehension about continuing with the living situation is also understandable.
If he does decide to help her in some way, Vincent says the man should not sacrifice his inner peace.
“That might look like helping them connect to resources, giving them a realistic timeline, or supporting them from a distance,” she advises.
Offering financial support may also be an option. However, relationship therapist Rebecca Williams, LMFT, emphasizes the importance of firm boundaries.
“If you say they need to be out in 3 months, you actually need to ask them to leave in 3 months. If you say 3 months and then allow them to stay for 6, that’s on you,” she said.
The author should stand by his decision, especially if he feels like it would be the best for the situation. Suddenly going back on his word would make him look indecisive, even weak and less respectable.
Most people sided with the man and compelled him not to take her back
But some believed he was at fault
