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Daily Mirror
Daily Mirror
National
Jane Lavender

Guilt of Milly Dowler's best friend over last minute decision that 'led to murder'

Milly Dowler was just 13-years-old when she was brutally murdered by serial killer Levi Bellfield.

The bubbly schoolgirl, from Weybridge, in Surrey, vanished just minutes after she had phoned her dad to tell him she would be home soon.

Milly had left school as usual at just after 3pm on March 21, 2002, and walked to Weybridge Station with a friend.

The pair got off a stop earlier than Milly's usual station and popped for something to eat at the railway cafe.

She set off to walk home alone and was spotted by a friend of her sister's, who was waiting at a bus stop.

Hannah and Milly were inseperable when they were schoolgirls together (Daily Mirror)
Milly and Hannah shared all their teenage problems (PA)

It was the last time anyone would see the schoolgirl alive.

For more than six months, Milly's family remained in a devastating state of limbo as their beloved daughter seemed to have vanished into thin air.

Then, on September 18, mushroom pickers made a devastating discovering in Yateley Heath Woods, Hampshire - naked human remains.

Milly's body was so badly decomposed and had no clothes or personal items with it, she had to be identified through dental records.

It also meant police could not determine how she had died.

Milly was just 13 when she was murdered by Bellfield (Surrey Police/PA)
Milly's body was found six months after she had gone missing (PA)

But officers were certain of one thing, Milly had been murdered.

It would be a further eight years before police had enough evidence to charge Bellfield with Milly's murder.

He was already serving three life sentences for murder and attempted murder.

After his trial the following year, the judge sentenced Bellfield to life in prison. He will never be released.

But for those left behind - Milly's family and friends - life will never be the same without her.

Her best friend, Hannah MacDonald, has remained close to Milly's family - and is still in touch with them regularly, 17 years after the murder.

They pair had met on a school trip to Germany and were inseperable, "like sisters", for the last year of Milly's life.

Hannah and Milly helped each other through all the ordeals teeange girls go through, from puberty to bullies and were part of each other's families.

Now married, Hannah is conscious she is living the life her best friend, who she still misses every day, should also be experiencing.

Over the years, including when Milly was just missing and the horror of her murder had not yet been discovered, Hannah has often bottled up her overwhelming grief.

Her killer, Levi Bellfield, will never be released from prison (Metropolitan Police/Getty)
Milly's devastated parents did not know what had happened to their daughter for six, agonising months (Press Association)

But there is also a sense of guilt over what happened on Milly's last day.

Hannah, tragically, believes if she had made a last minute decision differently, her best pal would still be alive.

Milly and Hannah had planned to stay late after school so they could do some art homework together.

Then, they were due to get a lift home from Milly's mum, who worked at the school.

But then Hannah was picked to play in the school hockey team that night and accepted her place.

Milly had been due to stay late at school with Hannah and then get a lift home with her mum (PA)

The girls switched their plans and completed their homework at lunchtime instead, meaning Milly got the train - and was abducted by twisted Bellfield as she made her way home.

She told Cosmopolitan : "I always felt guilty about playing in that sports match because it would have meant Milly wouldn't have been in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"But there are so many what ifs."

Hannah admits the first few months when Milly was missing "didn't feel real".

Police took her computer and her room was searched - but obviously no leads were found.

Milly's parents, Bob and Sally, have remained close to Hannah (PA)

Her parents were a huge support and helped her through the dark times.

Hannah threw herself into her school work but the ordeal of not knowing what had happened to her best friend was taking its toll.

She says her friendship groups became fractured as she struggled to cope with what had happened, despite her best efforts to "carry on as normal".

And then Milly's body was found and all "hope was gone".

It was around this time that Hannah started bottling her feelings up, a dangerous habit that stayed with her right into adulthood.

Milly's sister, Gemma, was a bridesmaid at Hannah's wedding (Rex Features)

Even after Bellfield was convicted, Hannah was still desperately trying to "carry on as normal".

But when Milly's killer first spoke about what had happened to her best friend, Hannah's grief started to bubble to the surface.

It was 2015, the year Hannah was due to marry her university sweetheart with Milly's sister as a bridesmaid and her parents there as guests.

Hannah said: To think that I was the same age as Milly, and they've had to watch everything I've gone through, every time another birthday goes past, a Christmas, learning to drive, passing my GCSEs, getting my my A-levels, going to university, getting married, having a baby.

Levi Bellfield's ex-girlfriend says she feels guilty for not speaking to the police earlier

"Every time they must think, 'Milly would have been doing the same'. But they don’t shut me out. They have always stayed in contact, even now."

Just weeks before the wedding in Spain, Hannah was told the Dowlers wouldn't be able to make it.

Bellfield had just confessed to murdering their daughter and horrific details of what had happened durng her final hours were emerging.

Struggling with insomnia and her grief, Hannah's husband encouraged her to get help and she finally realised he was right.

Hannah contacted the employee assistance programme at Bupa, where she works, and had face-to-face counselling.

She has finally dealt with her guilt at what happened on Milly's last day and the life she was robbed of.

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