Guide to Electoral Tribes 2010

Diehard Thatcherite: Voting intention, Tory through gritted dentures. You want our side to win, but not by much. That'll show Dave Photograph: Chris Riddell

Lifelong Lib: Voting intention, Lib Dem, even where it looks hopeless, to maximise national share and give Nick "moral authority" to haggle in a hung parliament Photograph: Chris Riddell

Tribal Warrior: Voting intention, Labour in any seat, whether it makes sense or not Photograph: Chris Riddell

Fanatical Faragiste: Voting intention, Ukip. Unless thinking tactically. Paradoxically, your best hope of securing representation in the House of Commons is the introduction of proportional representation as practised by those garlic-breathing continentals and advocated by the europhiliac Lib Dems. Vote Clegg get Farage! Photograph: Chris Riddell

Blairista: Voting intention, You will vote for the Lab or Lib candidate best placed to beat a Tory, even though you can't help secretly fancying a slice of Cameron's tax breaks for millionaires Photograph: Chris Riddell

Snatching Nat: voting intention, Plaid Cymru/SNP wherever they can win. Otherwise Tory - on the grounds that a Conservative government is likely to so aggravate the Scots and Welsh that they'll finally have the gumption to go for independence Photograph: Chris Riddell

Sweaty Leftie: Voting intention, er, Labour. Where the local enemy is Tory, you will hold your nose and vote for the Labour candidate, if only to try and keep out the Bullingdon Boys. Elsewhere, you will vote Liberal Democrat. Photograph: Chris Riddell

Cleggmaniac: Voting intention, Lib Dem unless the right wing papers manage to unearth something truly embarrassing about nice Nick before Election Day Photograph: Chris Riddell

Anxious Cameroon: Voting intention, Tory with fingers crossed tighter than our first budget that it will be all right on the night Photograph: Chris Riddell

Confused Floater: Voting intention, undecided. These people will probably determine who wins Photograph: Chris Riddell