Guardian's Fiver does a double-take

Monkey doesn't know whether Channel Five's Hannah Barnes is a keen reader of the Guardian football website. So we can't say whether that's where she got her inspiration for rebranding the Five Life digital channel Fiver. Our sport colleagues write a daily email featuring football gossip called The Fiver, you see. And they're keen to, erm ... thank Five for the imitation-is-the-sincerest-form-of-flattery tribute: "The Fiver woke today to the flattering news that Channel Five's digital channel Five Life, a fixture in tens of front rooms across the nation, is to be rebranded sometime next month as Fiver. As you would imagine of something bearing our moniker, the channel promises to be 'younger', 'faster', 'louder' and 'more betterer' (although in relation to what nobody knows) and by way of illustration, the station's on-air look will be based on a 'constantly moving cursor delivering unpredictive text to the viewer which will reference popular culture and will change to reflect seasonal and topical events'. Which sounds very swish indeed, though it remains beyond the ken of simple folk like the Fiver to know what was so wrong with being told what's on next by a friendly woman in a cocktail dress sitting behind a desk with a pot plant on it."